Our daughter, Marie, has Selective Mutism, which I've made brief mention of in the past. It's a big part of our lives, but not something I really talk about here since we firmly believe that it should be Marie's place to share if she'd like, not ours to speak about for her. Recently, though, her desire to share has surfaced quite a bit in many incredible ways, and I am honored to be able to use this platform to help her share as she wishes.
In the past, we hadn't really put a name to the condition when talking to Marie about her challenges, because it simply wasn't relevant yet. As she's grown and learned about the world though, her curiosity and thirst for knowledge have resulted in more involved discussions and a greater depth of understanding of her condition. So over the past year, we've taught Marie the term Selective Mutism, what it means, and that there are other kids in the world who also have Selective Mutism and who are also working hard to do brave things every day. To help this process, at the start of the school year I ordered a fantastic children's book called "Can't Talk? Want to Talk!" written by one of the mothers in my UK-based Facebook group, SMIRA, which stands for the Selective Mutism Information & Research Association. (Thus far, most of the research and studies for intervention/treatment has been done in the UK). Marie read the book herself as part of her homework reading assignment, and has asked a few times already throughout the year about sharing information with others so they can understand Selective Mutism, too. Marie also explained Selective Mutism to an older student at school one day during a break, because she said she felt comfortable enough in the moment to teach the student about it when the subject of her not talking came up.
I was extremely impressed with her desire to advocate for herself and spread awareness, so a few weeks ago I asked Marie if she wanted to do anything special for Selective Mutism Awareness Month. Her response? She wanted to make a diagram showing what happens physiologically to someone with Selective Mutism, and have her teacher tell her class about it. She also requested that I share it with Facebook. I searched high and low to see if there was any such diagram out there, and I could find nothing. So we created it together--though really, she did most of the work. She also gave an interview, which you can read below.
One thing that I've learned is that even when kids with Selective Mutism sometimes can't speak, they are not necessarily shy. This is clearly true in Marie's case. If she has something to say, she is determined to find a way to communicate her message, and she's not afraid of doing the hard work to make it happen.
If you had asked me before I became a mother what my proudest moment might be, never in a million years would I have guessed that this was it. Now, I'm so glad it is, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
World: this is what our 2nd-grader, miss Marie, would like to teach you about Selective Mutism.
AN INTERVIEW WITH MARIE ABOUT SELECTIVE MUTISM
What is it like to have Selective Mutism?
What is it like to have Selective Mutism?
"Embarrassing. I can't talk when I really want to say something, especially like on the first day of art, when kids got a piece of candy for answering questions right about the rules and I couldn't say anything even though I wanted to."
When is it most comfortable to feel like you can talk in school?
When is it most comfortable to feel like you can talk in school?
"When I'm around my friends and no one is embarrassing me."
Why is it easier to talk to your friends?
Why is it easier to talk to your friends?
"I'm way more comfortable around them because they act nice and funny around me and they help me and treat me the same as our other friends."
When is it hardest to be comfortable and what makes it too hard to talk?
When is it hardest to be comfortable and what makes it too hard to talk?
"When I have to stand right in front of the class and they want me to talk. When someone is rude about trying to make me talk or tries to get me to talk. It makes me want to walk away and I never really feel like I can talk to them."
What do you want the world to know about Selective Mutism?
What do you want the world to know about Selective Mutism?
"Not to tease about it. Just ignore them [not talking]. And it will be easier for the person to talk if you ignore it."
Interview by Marie. Questions by Marie’s Mom.
Interview by Marie. Questions by Marie’s Mom.
This is quite impressive!!! And I will definitely make an effort to not gently tease kids who seem shy. I too had trouble talking to others growing up, but it was not the same as this. Great job Marie! Way to teach the world!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, Marie. You're one fantastic girl.
ReplyDeleteWell done! I learned something!
ReplyDelete