With a Grateful Heart...

Thanksgiving has long been one of my favorite holidays because of what it entails—sharing a meal with family and taking time to really reflect on our blessings and give thanks. But over the years it’s been redefined in many ways—think football, gross overindulgence and sales galore.

It seems the further we get from the origins of some holidays, the more important it is get back to the basics. Americans should know that the foundations of Thanksgiving are rooted in gratitude that stemmed from the greatest of trials; the gratitude of those struggling to survive harsh elements while being plagued by starvation and disease, trying escape from religious persecution, and attempting to make a settlement flourish in the midst of complete isolation from civilization. It’s clear that the prominent issues in our nation that make news today—like a weak economy or the latest salacious gossip concerning some politician—are small beans compared to the mountainous struggles the first settlers were facing when they stopped to give thanks.

Ironically, though we have so much to be thankful for comparatively, most genuine expressions of thankfulness on this day appear to be short-lived. Many pay lip service to their blessings one moment but will rush to be to be first in line by midnight for Black Friday sales. To the casual observer, it’s clear that the true mark which defines our country is excessive consumerism, not true gratitude.

If we cared enough to ask the casual observer, we might see that we are beyond privileged to be Americans living in freedom and prosperity that many in this world could never even imagine. Even as I sit in the warm comfort of my home, surrounded by my loving family while watching the Macy’s Day parade and smelling the tantalizing aroma of roast turkey, I realize I’m blessed with more than most. I am basking in virtual luxury, but in our country and beyond the following truths hold fast:

Thousands of soldiers—many who are dear friends—are away from family today for the first, second… maybe tenth time so we can remain safe, and many others are missing the holiday due to some other necessary work or duty. Countless families are grieving the memory of a loved one who they will not have the opportunity to celebrate with today or any other holidays. Scores of people—in our country and others—will go hungry today, and many will spend tonight in the cold. And throughout the world, many more will make sacrifices—possibly even give their lives—to gain the liberty and justice we take for granted and express beliefs that we freely proclaim here in America.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that we should deprive ourselves of blessings that we enjoy on a daily basis, but we should reflect on them more than once a year and seriously work on putting our prosperity into perspective. It’s okay to have our second (or third) helping of turkey, cheer on our favorite team, and try to score the best deal on a sweet sale. But we should remember that in doing such things, we’re privileged beyond measure, and at the very least we can express genuine thanks to God for such blessings. And with even a little motivation, we can realize the potential to make a difference in some other way—through prayer, financial support, or direct action—for those who have less or who’ve sacrificed so much more than us.

So in an effort to reverse the trend of disingenuous thanks that tends to plague our country, I’ll try to do my best to remember today and every day how richly we are blessed. I am incredibly thankful for so many things—a home, jobs that support us, my health and above all our beautiful family—and I pray that I will never take such things for granted. As we celebrate another year of innumerable blessings, I only hope that my gratitude is sufficient and I remember others’ struggles and sacrifice as I should. 

Who’s with me?

My Greatest Blessings:

(Yes, he got a bit of a haircut!)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

A Beautiful Life

Helen Marie (Sykes) Swartz

July 25th, 1926 - November 15th, 2011

This past weekend we embarked on a very ambitious trip to see my parents and relatives. Though it seemed half crazy to attempt such a journey with two toddlers and a two-week-old, it turned out to be the best decision we could have made; we got to spend the last few days of my grandmother's life with her before she slipped peacefully from this world to the next on Tuesday morning. She had been suffering from cancer for quite some time, and I could not be more thankful to have spent a few precious last hours with her and know that she had the chance to meet her newest great-grand baby before she died. It was such a gift to sit by her bedside and hold her hand, pray for her and the journey her soul was preparing to make, and thank her for investing herself so completely in my own life during the many years she spent as my grandmother.

I don't think I can possibly honor her properly or recount all of the ways she's touched my life with just a few simple words. There are so many things that have endeared her to me and so many memories that I don't ever want to forget. But capturing even a few of these—and giving others a glimpse in to her wonderful life—helps to paint a picture of the blessing my grandmother was in my life and the lives of so many others.

My grandmother grew up during the Great Depression, the youngest of nine children. Some of the last conversations we had were of her memories from this time. She described her father taking in strangers and feeding them for weeks at a time, even though there was barely enough for her own family. "I would sit at the dinner table and look longingly at the last piece of meat. But I knew that I was so little, and that my brother needed it more than I did because he was so much bigger than me," she would tell me. Talk about putting sacrifice into perspective.

She met my grandfather as a young teen and would tell me stories of young love and courtship in the 1940s, and how she loved go out with cousins and friends to dance the night away. When my grandfather enlisted in the Navy during World War II, she waited four agonizing years for his return. (And we think a 12-month separation for deployment is bad). Once he returned safely, they married and my grandma devoted herself to raising four children and travelling the globe with my grandfather (who spoke four languages) as he made his way up the corporate ladder in international trade.

My first memory of Grandmom, as we called her, was visiting me as a young girl when we lived in Vicenza, Italy. Together we toured the sites, climbing to the top of the dome at the Vatican, walking around the Coliseum, climbing the tower of Pisa, and chasing the pigeons in St. Mark's Square in Venice. She called me her 'doll baby' exceedingly often, and I always was a bit confused as a kid when she exclaimed, “I could just eat you up!”

First line of defense against unwanted
paparazzi: sticking out her tongue

When we moved back to the U.S., my fondest memories consisted of holidays at Grandmom's house and summer vacations together at the beach. From one visit to the next we'd look forward to her feast of beef brisket, rice, and green beans, not to mention the multitude of cookies and candy that we could get away with eating at her house. The grandmother I knew was always full of spunk and mischief. While sitting around the big dining room table for meals, she was known for pretending to sneeze green peas into her hand or looking at us and sticking out a tongue full of food when no one else was looking, but denying any mischief whenever we protested. (At restaurants she would substitute an accordion-folded straw wrapper for the peas during the 'sneeze'). After big family meals the board games would come out, and the teams of girls vs. guys would form; whether it was Charades, Pictionary, or Dominos, Grandmom was unflinching in her enforcement of the rules and usually the loudest when it came to heckling the men folk. As recently as this past Mother’s Day, well into her battle with cancer, she joined in on multiple hands of Dominos as ruthlessly as ever. Always a card shark, she could be found daily at the kitchen table playing solitaire while watching Wheel of Fortune or The Price is Right. She taught us early on how to play every card game under the sun, and had no mercy even when playing against a five-year-old. Thanks to Grandmom, my brother was a Rummy master before the first grade.

Donning a toilet paper  dress
at my bridal shower

Grandmom had quite the soft side to her too, never missing the chance to be there for us during birthdays, concerts, or any remotely important event…even sitting through my five-hour gymnastics meets with her bad back to support me. And she catered to us at absolutely every opportunity. Once when visiting her house my brother asked for some of Cream of Wheat for breakfast. He liked that she made it with white sugar (as opposed to brown sugar like our mom did) and asked for more. Five times. And each time, she heated up the stove and made my brother more, laughing and asking incredulously how he could eat six bowls of the stuff. Once I became a tween who loved shopping, she selflessly sacrificed her time and sanity, allowing me to drag her to every store in the mall and then some. And when my brother jokingly decided to re-designate her as “Granny,” she rolled with the punches; we’ve called her Granny ever since.

She and Peter's grandma made quite
the pair, getting lost while
taking the gifts up at our wedding

A convert to the Catholicism, Granny also had a unique perspective on her faith that I came to appreciate in recent years. She wasn’t extremely outspoken about it, but when she shared about her faith experiences and her conversion, they were some of the most fascinating conversations I had with her. And some of my favorite one-on-one times with Granny were the days we would drive in to the city, just the two of us, and attend her Novena at the Chapel of the Miraculous Medal. We sat in the very front row during the service, and afterwards we went to the little gift shop where she allowed me to pick something out. As I’ve gotten older and become more mature in my own faith journey, her quiet example becomes increasingly more significant.

Though I said my goodbyes this past Monday with a heavy heart and my fair share of tears, I know that is simply the reaction of the human element. I’m grateful for all of the times my grandma continued to be present without question to support me in life—graduation, West Point banquets and commissioning, my wedding, meeting and visiting my own children—and her presence will be dearly missed in such times. But my spiritual intellect knows that she no longer suffers in human form, and that it's her eternal life which bears the most significance.

Commissioning

Her soul is very much alive as she makes her way to everlasting glory, and though I already desperately miss the grandmother who filled my life with such love and joy, I fully believe in her continued ability to love us from her new place in this world…and the persistent thought in my mind as I held her hand for the last time on Monday was, “I bet it’s going to be absolutely beautiful there, Granny.” Indeed, I have no doubt that the brilliance she’ll encounter is beyond our wildest expectations.


My grandmother lived 85 full and happy years on this earth, and in the few short days I was able to visit this past weekend I was overwhelmed by the number of other friends and relatives—some traveling quite far—who came to see her. I know that if she filled my own life with such complete joy and love, the impact she’s had on thousands of others over the course of 85 years must be compounded exponentially.

 And that is truly the beauty of a life fulfilled.

Mother's Day 2011

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real} - What a Week!

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life!
Every Thursday over at Like Mother, Like Daughter


Last Thursday I was looking forward to a nice relaxing day of browsing the other entries at the {Pretty, Happy Funny, Real} link-up. Shortly after posting my entry, though, my {Real}observation of a rapidly approaching due date suddenly charged in to action with a false alarm on Thursday followed by the real thing on Friday! We were thrilled to welcome our new son on the 28th (his due date!) and have been living in a hazy sleepless bliss ever since. So forgive me if I haven't (yet) made it through your comments or what you had to share, but thanks for all of the prayers and words of encouragement, because they definitely worked!

{Pretty}

3 days old

6 days old and getting more alert!

I know I should be calling my boys handsome, but I think it still falls within the statute of limitations to give my new son the label 'pretty,' or even more appropriately, breathtakingly beautiful. I'm 100% smitten, head to toe.   

{Happy}

The wedded bliss begins...

Hot date!

Happy Anniversary to the first and most important love of my life! I'm beyond blessed and shamelessly spoiled by the most wonderful man ever (complete with breakfast in bed this morning!). He's surpassed my every wish of what I'd dream of in a husband, and is an even more amazing father!

Thanks to one very generous Grandma who was willing to watch the kids, we even got to go on a date last night to a romantic Italian restaurant and celebrate!

{Funny}

Thanks to a smooth delivery and a very cooperative healthy newborn boy, we were out of the hospital in plenty of time for me to take the older munchkins trick-or-treating for the first time! They had a blast running from house to house, along with our wonderful nanny and her children, shouting "trick-or-treat" and waiting for their loot. The highlight of the evening was Erik, our resident 2-year-old, who has yet to discover tact. He asked one neighbor handing out Sweet Tarts for a "yellow one, not  blue," asked another for "more," and finally told a kind neighbor handing out juice barrels, "no, that's not candy!" before attempting to hand the juice back. We'll have to work on some better manners for next year!

{Real}

First picture of our newly expanded family. Overwhelming...and  we are overwhelmingly blessed!