This Mother's Day...

This Mother’s Day, there are so many things I could take for granted. I could complain about the fact that there’s an actual blizzard happening outside right now halfway through May (no really, I couldn’t joke about something so painful), or that I’m feeling under the weather, or that my toddler spent his whole “nap” screaming from his crib that he wanted to eat chips. I could gloss over (as I too often do) the reality that though the days are filled with lots of needs and wants, I’m blessed with every intangible I could ever wish for, both this Mother’s Day and every other day. I have so, so much to be thankful for. I get to spend each day with my beautiful children; my own loving, supportive mom is just a phone call away; my doting husband has spent this day and so many others spoiling me to no end.

So today, I am doing my best to cherish those things that others do not get to take for granted, and trying to lift up in prayer those who are living a very different reality. Just yesterday we learned that Peter’s young cousin passed away; I can’t help but think of his sweet mother who a day later is having to face her first Mother’s Day without her son. Our hearts are just aching for her, for her husband, and for their daughters who--instead of celebrating today--are utterly crippled with the grief of a lost son and brother.

I am thinking of all of the other mothers who, like her, are aching to spend Mother’s Day a child who is no longer here. I am thinking of all the daughters and sons who wish they could send a card or have brunch, but their mothers are aren’t on this earth. I’m thinking of those whose mothers are still living, but instead of a joyous celebration, they carry the grief and stress of strained relationships or deep hurt or failing health.

I’m thinking of all the mothers who don’t have the incredible support of a family or husband that they deserve. The moms who would give anything to spend the day with their children instead of driving off to work. The single moms who wake up alone every day and work to be everything and more for their kids and get little or no recognition in return. The mothers and children separated by distance and tragedy, the girls from Nigeria and their mothers who with every beat of their heart ache to be reunited.

As I consider all the heartache that for some will overshadow the joy of this day, I’m thankful we have the example of a heavenly mother who has been there in every way. She is a mother who personally and intimately embraced the indescribable joy of motherhood—a mother who has felt the burn of all-consuming love for the child God gave her, then just as intimately lived the heart-rending grief of holding the body of the son she carried and raised and poured her soul into—only to let him go. And through it all, she clung to the promise that God’s truth and love would win in the end. So I’m thankful that even in the raw realness of suffering and injustice of this world, even on this day that should be joyful for all but is agony for some, we can rely on the example of our Savior’s mom; we can cling to that same promise, we can lean on the same hope—that God’s love and everlasting happiness will win in the end. I’m thankful that God made motherhood such a pivotal role in the human experience; so important, in fact, that he wanted his own son to experience it in the midst of His plan to save the world. And I’m thankful that—when aligned with His will—motherhood can still be one of the most meaningful and redemptive experiences for women and children alike.

So today, though my heart is heavy for others, I am reveling in the little blessings and happy and funny moments that should always matter so much: Our little saints who are always praying for us even when I’m too busy to think of them. My Erik who said he wants to marry me when he grows up (a dream quickly and pitifully crushed by his Daddy who revealed that I’m already taken). My Marie who spent all week sneaking around making Mother’s Day projects for me. And who wrote about the day I was so weary that I put on a movie and made oatmeal for dinner as one of her favorite memories.

My Ethan who still asks to snuggle with me, and who made the observation earlier (after asking if he could pee and toot and poop on the potty) that the words “poop” and “toot” rhyme (boys and their potty humor).  My incredible husband who was not only influential in giving me the gift of my motherhood, but who supports me in word and deed every step of the way. My own mother, who has given me so many gifts and experiences that I could write a book (or ten). 

Many days and in many ways it is a hard life. Many days it is an unbelievably wonderful life. But above all, it is always, always a blessed life!

The Half

My baby boy Ethan turned 2 ½ last week.

He is taller at two and a half than his brother was at three, and he’s already in size 3T clothing—new territory for us since we’re used to having shrimps who remain well below the average size for their age. Taking bets now on when he passes his big brother in height! People regularly ask me if Ethan and Erik are twins when we're out, even though Erik is closer in age to Marie than he is to Ethan. Seeing Ethan grow big and strong is especially encouraging considering that he’s been on his no-dairy diet for a year now, and I was a little concerned about how it might affect him. Not at all, it appears!

He loves all things Thomas the Train and any type of vehicle that moves, whether it’s cars, buses, cement mixers, construction equipment, or planes.

Also animals.

Welcome to the jungle!

We’re having more moments like these:

But more often than not the day is filled with moments like this:

Pizza crust smile.

If this doesn't make your day...

I simply showed him how to do duck lips while looking at himself on my phone, and this was the was the hilarious result. [I may be biased, but this video totally rivals my favorite laughing baby video of all time...in which the little boy is also named Ethan!]

We took away our Ethan’s pacifiers (“ba-bas”) the day of his half birthday and had him put them in a plastic bag to “give” to his little cousin Scarlett. I had been talking it up since the beginning of the month, and making a big deal about how he would be a big boy on the 28th and get a cupcake (aka gluten/dairy-free chocolate muffin, but whatever!) and I kept saying big boys don’t need pacis anymore. The previous night he had woken up at 3am crying for his ba-ba, so I was definitely nervous that we might be sentencing ourselves to more misery--I like my sleep! But on the big day he happily put all the babas in the bag and has not asked for them since. He mentioned once or twice that his cousin had them now, but that was it.

One huge sacrifice, though, has been his afternoon naps. Despite my best efforts, he has only slept once during the entire week, and that was only after four consecutive no-nap days. The death of the nap has obviously contributed to a few more of those select moments pictured above, but it’s also given us the chance to go out and do some things in the afternoon that normally we wouldn’t. So we’ll see how it all pans out in the next few weeks. Hopefully we’ll be able to just get him to bed earlier at night and fall back into a good rhythm soon.

I’ve also debated sharing this for fear of jinxing it, but big boy has been tackling totally self-led potty training for a few weeks now. It’s kind of amazing, really. After my first two difficult potty trainers—one of whom seemed nearly hopeless at times—I really can’t believe my luck. I don’t pressure him. I don’t tell him to go. He just asks to go to the potty so he can get a jelly bean, and I say okay. After a week or two we bought him pullups, which he wears daily and often keeps dry. And he’s also started asking to go when we’re out and about. I’m still not holding my breath considering I was still potty training the other two in some facet when we were pushing age four…but I am one delighted mama considering the possibility that it could be infinitely easier (and earlier!) that it has ever been before. Fingers crossed!

He was so hapy he gave himself a medal.
I will give him a million if it means
no diapers!

His language continues to blow me away--ever since he started cooing his first words as a baby he has amazed us with his verbal prowess, and it just continues. Big brother and sister have obviously influenced his abilities in this sphere…but unlike them, he and his big gregarious personality are willing to talk to anyone and everyone who will listen, wherever we are. He keeps a running dialogue/monologue with a play-by-play description of exactly what he is doing or hearing at the moment:

“Look at da bunny outside! He’s eating his breakfast! I wanna eat my breakfast! I’m gonna eat Leapin’ Lemurs for my breakfast now. I’m getting my bowl and my spoon. I hear da airplane! I’m sitting down now so I can eat. Mommy please get my cup! Mmm, dis tastes good!”

And he’s not afraid to be a curious cat or total ham in public. He rambled up to a librarian stocking the shelves the other day to ask what she was doing, and asked a fellow preschool mom holding smoothie, “What are you drinkin?” In church he likes to entertain the fortunate souls who get to sit near us by loudly repeating whatever the priest says: “Mommy, he said Jesus!” “He said heaven!” “Mommy, he said lunch! Can we go eat now?!” And when we take Marie to school in the morning he will stop in his tracks until he gets to high-five Marie’s principle at the crosswalk and shout out the name of who he’s pretending to be at the moment. “I’m Thomas/Percy/Spiderman/Anna/Sid the Science Kid!”

A conversation about numbers.

Thankfully, despite his independence, my little Ethan man is still happy to snuggle with me while reading, or ask to sit in my lap on the rocking chair while I sing his bedtime song—he’s also asked for hugs and kisses a few times and even told me the other day “I want to give you a kiss on the nose!” So as much as I want him to stay my baby, we are so lucky to watch our adorable boy continue to grow and develop into his own little unique and super sweet big boy!