I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends...

I think most people (especially self-proclaimed "helpers" like myself) would admit that while they love helping others, they have a very hard time receiving help. I don't know what it is about human nature that prevents us from doing so, but setting our pride aside and actually accepting help is, in my opinion, one of the toughest pills to swallow.

Thankfully, I have the coolest, most amazing friends and family ever. Who could care less about my pride.  So I had lots of practice swallowing it after my little surgery last week. I'm still seeing the ripple effects of everyone's help and kindness as this new week begins, and only being able to say "thank-you" in return makes me feel just a tad helpless. So I just wanted to take a moment to declare to the world that I have the most amazing, selfless, kind and wonderful support system, and I must thank everyone a million times over!

My in-laws took the kids overnight the evening prior to the procedure and gave them an awesomely fun day (as usual), so I could focus on getting to the hospital without distractions. My brother-in-law came over the evening after the surgery to help feed the kids dinner and lift them into bed so Peter could go to school.

My best friend took a week off of work so he wait all day for me at the hospital, chauffeur my loopy self home, fetch me breakfast in bed, watch the kids, and most importantly be my blocker whenever the kids unwittingly tried to tackle me on the couch. He slaved away all day, every day, doing my job so that I could smile and stare at his handsome face while doing nothing rest and recover properly.

Daddy daycare...so fun!

My fabulous friends in the neighborhood delivered dinner to my door for a week straight (including a meatless dish on Friday!). It made the days so much easier for our family, and there were so many straight up delectable dishes that I've now expanded my meal planning repertoire by a good six meals. My family and my overflowing fridge thank you from the bottom of our hearts (and tummies)!

It's literally stuffed with kindness!

I then received the most awesome gift from my friends across the miles who said that although they couldn't be here, they still wanted to help (and told me I wasn't allowed to say "no")--they gave me a full-blown, top-to-bottom house cleaning. I know, right? It was so difficult to just say "thank-you" and accept such an amazing thing, but it's definitely needed. So very, very needed! (Now you can come visit a sparkling clean house! I will be hunting for some cheap plane tickets)!

I also received a super sweet package along with countless emails, texts, phone calls, and well wishes from so many wonderful souls checking in on me. And oh, the prayers...a friend said she prayed a rosary just for me, my family got up early and went to church for me before work/school on the day of my surgery, and I found out that people I don't even know were praying for me. I just feel so covered in love and and humbled and blessed by all of you! You've all met my every need even when it's been painful to admit that I could use it. So thank you, thank you, thank you...I can't say it enough!

Do you have any idea how VERY dangerous
it is to have these sitting next to the bed?! 

P.S. Since I probably owe you an update: I re-claimed my day job today and I am recovering awesomely well. No doubt because of you all!

Surgery--UPDATED

Originally written on February 16th. Updated below on February 20th following the surgery.  

So I didn't really want to advertise on the Faccia Book, but many of you kind friends stop by here on a regular basis and want to stay updated, so I figured I should oblige you. And ask for your prayers, since I probably neglected to include some of you on my mass email (sorry!). Here's the deal: I'm getting endometriosis surgery early this coming week. I also realize that some of you have stopped by the blog because you're dealing with similar health issues, so if sharing about mine can help any of you, it's absolutely worth it to me.

Getting another surgery was a decision motivated largely by my discovering an amazing book last year--it details how often endometriosis treatment is mismanaged in our country, and how very few OB/GYNs are taught the correct techniques for eliminating endometriosis. I'd run in to a lot of the issues in that past 10+ years of trying to seek actual treatment (as opposed to mere management of my symptoms which is the approach most doctors take), but I didn't realize until reading this book that the issues I'd run into were so deep-seated and widespread. So if you or someone you know is dealing with endometriosis, please keep spreading the word. And read that book (you'll thank me later!).

Anyway, when we moved to Denver I searched for an OB/GYN who had been trained in identifying all types and manifestations of endometriosis, and who could perform the correct type of surgery to properly remove different types of sites. I was lucky enough to find a great surgeon over the summer, and I've been seeing her ever since.

All ready!!!

The surgery itself (a laparoscopy, or scope surgery) is diagnostic in nature--my surgeon will look for scar tissue and any endometriosis sites, which can be easily camouflaged against other organs and tissues, and remove anything she possibly can with a laser. If you're dealing with endometriosis, it's important to understand that not all laser surgery is created equal [very good explanation here]. The type of laser technique the surgeon uses is very important to ensure the endometriosis can be completely removed without leaving any endo behind (which can cause a resurgence of issues) and also to ensure that no surrounding tissue is damaged, which can create more scar tissue (and ultimately lead to more pain or infertility). So if you need surgery, be sure to do proper research ahead of time. And, I repeat, read the book! My surgeon will also be doing an HSG procedure to make sure everything is clear and functioning properly. If any endo damage is too extensive to remove through a laparscopy, I will have to schedule a future laparotomy (non-scope surgery with more major incisions) in order to take care of those specific areas.

If all goes as planned, the surgery will have the potential to help eliminate the severe pain I deal with regularly, and also help improve my fertility. I'm optimistic...I'm not exactly excited about the process, but definitely hopeful for a good outcome. I did find out during my pre-op that I get to "prep" for the surgery in a way I didn't expect, and honestly I'm far more anxious about that whole process than the surgery itself! So I'll be holed up in my tower for the third week in a row, hopefully with a good attitude because I tend to be a rather impatient sufferer. I'm back on the BRAT diet as of today...I'll be looking forward to getting some meat back on these bones of mine soon! It's shaping up to be a really good first week of Lent for me--if you have any prayer intentions, please send them my way so I have something more meaningful to focus on than myself! Overall, though, I'm feeling very positive...and lucky that we are in a position where this treatment is even a possibility for me when it is not for so many. God is good.

As always, prayers are welcome and positively appreciated!

---------------UPDATE---------------

Thank you SO very much to all of you for the prayers. I did just fine yesterday and am home now recovering well. Apparently Vicodin makes me really crave a good book, as evidenced by my sudden desire to start a new Pinterest board and blow up everyone's Pinterest feeds with a literary library when I couldn't sleep last night. Hopefully it was late enough that I didn't annoy anyone too much. But at least I have some good ideas for my next Kindle download! Today my throat's still pretty scratchy from the tube which makes it a little hard to talk, and they had to pump my insides full of CO2 for the surgery which means that my stomach is now making a symphony of moans, groans, growls and howls that could rival a pack of hungry wolves. But those things are perfectly normal and all things considered, I feel pretty darn good.

My incredible little helper and lifter of spirits!

As far as the outcome, I got both good news and frustrating news. The good news is that my surgeon thought everything looked great, my tubes are open showing no sign of fertility issues, and she only had to laser two small areas. The frustrating and confusing news is that the two areas she treated didn't even look like traditional endometriosis to her...and everything else looked great. Even the areas they found covered in scar tissue during my ectopic surgery two years ago (which I have pictures of and even looked at with my doctor during the pre-op last week). So, short of some sort of miraculous healing, I have no idea why my innards would look completely fine now...especially when my pain during the past two years has continued to be so localized and get so much more severe. And all of the pain, coupled with my history of pregnancy loss just baffles me. Many women who have had ectopic pregnancies say it's the worst pain they've every felt, even more intense than kidney stones. But it took me a few days to even consider going to the hospital because I thought my ectopic pain was just the pain I get all the time that is so bad. I still have days with pain like that. Most days it's mild, but it never completely goes away. I know that can't be normal. So it's just very confusing and disheartening to think that after all the research and hope I've put in to this surgery and this part of my treatment plan, my pain could suddenly be an enigma again and I might have to start back at square one. My doctor is supposed to call today and talk it over with me (since I was out of it yesterday and got all the above info through Peter) and hopefully when we go over everything at my post-op in a few weeks she will have some options for me. Anyway, I'm trying to trust in God's will, and hope that there's some sort of explanation that I haven't yet discovered, or that somehow those two small areas my doctor lasered were the cause behind all of the pain. But only time will tell. 

In the mean time, the mantra I'm repeating is a quote I heard recently that really stuck with me:

"Sometimes God redeems us from our struggles, but sometimes God redeems us through our struggles." --Mike Donehey

So if it turns out that redemptive suffering is the name of the game for me, I will try embrace it with grace...and continue to give thanks for the wonderful life I am blessed to lead, surrounded by the most amazing family and friends I could ask for.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: My doctor just called and I found out that the areas they lasered are in the same location where my worst pain has traditionally always been. And supposedly the amount they find in no way correlates to the intensity of the pain. She said women can have just one site with horrific pain, or be completely covered and have no pain. So we'll still have to wait a few weeks and see, but there's MUCH more hope now that what they did was indeed effective!

Sorry for being lazy and referring you all here, but it's the easiest way for me to keep everyone in the loop right now so I only have to type it once. Thank you again for all of your messages, for asking how everything went, and most of all your love and prayers. You are all such an incredible support and encouragement to me!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's day, friends! We've been talking a lot about what real love means around here today--you can read my thoughts about it over at Positively (Im)Perfect. Hopefully you're feeling loved and valued as you should, today and every day! As for us, we're continuing to fight off our most recent family plague, a nasty head cold, working on our niceness, practicing our hugs, and having some Valentine's Day crafting fun! Much love from all of us to all of you!

Happy Valentine's Day from the Hjelmstads! 

Top O' the mornin' to ya, ladies.

Movie Night for the kids in the family room...
Date Night for the happy couple in the dining room!

 Oh, and in case you missed it, we celebrated Peter's birthday this past week, too.

Happy Birthday, you big stuuud! 

What Day Is It Again?

So am I the only one who is still trying to figure out if January and part of February have already happened?

The past few weeks have been one long tunnel of sickness for the Hjelmstads, with lots of bleach and thankfully a few little breathers here and there. But it's definitely created a weird time warp for this gal. It's like Groundhog Month instead of Groundhog Day. I can't remember how many weeks it's been since the onset of the stomach bug that descended upon us (two now?) or how many days of school Marie has missed or days of work poor Peter has taken off nursing us back to health...or how many hours of Sprout the kids have watched or what appointments I've already canceled and rescheduled in the fog of it all. (When I was sick, I actually made Peter call and cancel Erik's dental appointment--that I'd already had to cancel and reschedule once--because I thought was the next day. Nope. Not happening till next week). Whew.

Anyway, as of yesterday we officially entered a new phase of snot and low fevers and coughing, which I can deal with much more sanely than other projectile bodily fluids. But my heart just aches for my poor kiddos, who are just as tired of feeling miserable as I am of watching them be miserable. And sweet Marie is so very sad to be missing yet another day of school today--though I'd much rather the sickness exposure and immunity developments happen during this year of preschool than next year in kindergarten when attendance actually counts. (I'm having to ignore the significance of that last thought, though, lest I have to steal that box of tissues from the kids).

The point is, I'm thankful we haven't been dealing with anything really serious, but we're all very tired of house arrest. And house arrest has forced me to face one of my weaknesses: effectively entertaining children for extended periods of time. I'm not a very natural or patient teacher, and even the fun activities that I do seem to come up or discover (thank you, Pinterest) only provide a few minutes of fun before the whining and tantrums take over again. I've tried to come up with a focus some days--one day was supposed to be all about caves, another about space and planets, and another about polar animals...none turned out too well. Even with the YouTube portion of the 'lesson.' It's been a continual reminder of why I have zero desire to homeschool!

But Daddy is swamped with work and more work and school, and we are facing another loooong weekend in the house, so I am asking for your ideas. I think part of my issue has been lack of planning, so I'm [planning on] planning a sort of themed pre-school lesson tonight with different structured activities for a 4, 3, and one-year-old (who has given up his morning nap). I'm hoping it can get me through the weekend. I'm thinking things that are related--but get us moving--like circle time and crafts and whatever else takes up a lot of time. And the more time I can spend preparing instead of researching, the better.  So, help please?  Any ideas for learning themes? Any good sites with [FREE] lesson plans or coordinating crafts and activities that flow from one activity to the next (especially if one isn't working out so well?) Any suggestions for timing for each portion of the day? I see us not leaving this house again all weekend so I'm desperate here, people...

//
Okay, moving on from the whining pity party portion of this post to a little hodge-podge of positivity. We have gotten to do a lot of great things these past few weeks in between bouts of sickness (when I oh-so-naively thought we were all better and in the clear. Ha.) And the kids have been awesome troopers and have not stopped growing and learning one bit. Just don't ask me what day it all happened, because I really couldn't tell you. So, in what I think is chronological order, here's the positive:

My little 15-month-old chatterbox:

Some very silly stir-crazy kiddos:

Tubing with Gran:

Skiing Vail and watching Peter race: Each year DU hosts a competition called "Race and Case" where teams of MBA students are judged on presenting a case study one day and on racing the next. So of course as soon as Peter got wind of it, he put a team together (and got second in the men's racing, NBD). I've only gotten to see him race once before, so it was pretty awesome that I could be there. We spent the rest of the day skiing together on the mountain in some fabulous weather, and went to a fun awards dinner that night at the local luxury bowling alley, Bōl. It was a really fun day overall.

Family Day at the Avalanche game: Last weekend we brought the kids with us and celebrated Peter's [early] birthday while watching the Avs come from behind for a great win. (Just so you know, this Monday my wonderful husband gets to embrace the last year of his twenties so wish him well)! Marie and Erik were a little hesitant about the noise at first but got definitely got into it about halfway through. Ethan, on the other hand, loved every last second. He shouted "yaaaay!" and "go!" with gusto, danced to the music between every play, and clapped enthusiastically every time the crowd started cheering. He was also obsessed with the truck float that made its way around the rink between periods, shouting "cuck! cuck!" and wiggling with delight. Even I wore my Avs shirt and enjoyed cheering for the team, who will always be my favorite--except when they play my true favorite. Go Flyers!

The kids also got to spend some time with great-Grandma who was visiting from Wyoming this past week, but I was out of commission so unfortunately I don't have any pictures to document it.

Well that's all for now, folks. Hopefully I'll be back soon with more positivity; in the mean time we'll be ingesting copious amounts of Vitamin C and waiting patiently for your lesson plans that will save the day!

Diana

I'd like to tell you about my friend Diana.

Diana and I went to high school together, and though I wish I could say we were better friends then, I do remember some fun times working together at one of my first summer jobs at Carlisle Barracks. I also remember that she had (and still has!) one of the sweetest moms ever. Thanks to the beauty of technology, I've gotten to keep up with her a lot more in recent years. I got to "see" the joy of her engagement, her beautiful wedding and marriage, and share in the excitement of her pregnancy and the birth of her first son this past year.

But on Christmas Day she was also diagnosed with cancer. Let me say that again: Christmas Day. The specific cancer she is battling is called ALL, and she's been at the fight now for 44 days. Diana is such a trooper--she's gone through multiple rounds of chemo, and was not in remission after the first round of treatments as hoped. So she has been going through more chemo and will be looking at a possible bone marrow transplant in the future.

She is one of the most beautiful, inspiring, loving, and compassionate women I know, and she's an even more incredible wife and mom. (Her six-month-old son is also one of THE most adorable little boys in the whole wide world!).

To add to her list of amazing-ness, she started a blog that she's been updating every day since she began this journey. She shares good, the bad, and the ugly of her treatment, and of course many adorable pictures and videos of her sweet baby boy.

So I wanted to share my courageous friend and her blog with you, but mostly ask you to please pray for her healing and recovery. Please add her to any prayer lists/circles/chains you might know of. And as you can imagine, the fight must be wearing on her after 44 straight days...so please keep her in your thoughts as she faces day 45, 46, 47 and beyond with the grace and determination with which she has approached every day thus far.

Diana's Blog - Journey to Beat Leukemia

Thanks in advance for all the prayers, my friends...and love and blessings to you, beautiful Diana!