Lucky 7

Marie,

My dear, sweet daughter...

I've written to you so many times in my head, but I wanted to finally put it down on "paper," most especially this year, because you and I both agree that seven is extra special. It's fitting, seeing as how seven is my favorite number, and you arrived on the last day of the seventh month weighing in at seven pounds. When I was young, I couldn't wait to turn seven and I loved being seven. You are very much the same; for years you have asked about different milestones or pondered different activities, saying, "maybe when I'm seven..."

Well, my dear, seven is finally here. And I'm so excited to share it with you.

I admit, though, I'm still grasping at the reality of what, exactly, that means. How has it been seven years already? It's so much time and no time all at once. It makes my heart cower and swell and ache and burst with love for everything you are and have become; you, beautiful you, the one who made me a mother. You who taught me to let go of expectations the second your tiny fingers closed around mine...

I knew, just knew, that you were going to be a boy until the second you were laid on my chest; that'll always be a good laugh for us I think, beautiful girl. I knew you were going to to have beautiful blue eyes and blond hair like your daddy did as a little boy, the kind your little brothers had when they were born. Instead you had a shock of dark hair and deep, dark, blue, almond shaped eyes hidden within your puffy cheeks; my first thought when I saw you was that some of those Italian and Spanish genes from your great-grandparents had skipped at least a few generations. Indeed, in those first few weeks you reminded me a lot of Granddad, your great-grandma Thecla, and your great-grandad Poppy. It wasn't until that dark hair of yours kept getting longer and lighter and your deep eyes changed to match mine that people started saying that you looked just like me. And it's by far the most wonderful compliment that I could ever get.

But it was much more than just those initial expectations. You've helped me let go of so many other expectations as you've grown. You've helped me to understand and learn to be the mom you need, though we both still know what a work in progress that is (of course, life is always a work in progress, my dear). My world view is so much bigger with you in it. We've met so many challenges and joys I never would have anticipated (some that I never knew existed) before you came along, and I wouldn't trade the many and constant ways you've caused me to evolve as a person any more than I would ever trade you. 

And who you are is incredible. You are a dreamer and a musician and an adventurer. Your faith is authentic, sure, and completely your own; and in many ways, I daresay, stronger than mine.You are eager and sensitive and you feel deeply. You chase after new ideas without hesitation--even if it means conveniently forgetting that you were supposed to finish emptying the dishwasher first. You love to compose songs on the piano and ride your bike and delve into a highly imaginitive and exciting world of play with your friends...like that time you created an entire general store out of rocks and roped me into buying some rare finds using pebbles as currency.

You have a mischevious streak; you love to tell jokes that you've made up, even if Daddy and I still don't quite get the punch lines. You love talking about and applying the things you've learned, and I've learned so much as a result. You can talk circles around me when explaining the different types and origins of rocks or facts about manatees. Yesterday you even helped me identify that elusive little animal, the kinkajou, that Daddy and I spotted in Costa Rica during our honeymoon; you couldn't believe how my tired brain could keep forgetting the name of it when your sharp seven-year-old brain trapped it so well during your first grade studies. Yes, your love of learning has rekindled mine in the most magical way. And out of all the things I love about you, I'm most taken by one of the greatest of loves that we share; you read happily and voraciously, and I can't wait for all the reading we will get to do together as you grow.

You're also testing certain waters much sooner than I anticipated; you've started slipping "Mom" and "Dad" into conversations around your friends instead of "Mommy" and "Daddy." I imagined that would happen a little later, just like I thought I had at least until thirteen to prepare for some of the more, shall we say...emotional... reactions; alas, it is not so. But we are learning our way through these things too, even if I find it maddening when you occasionally laugh in my face as I reprimand you, and you claim you can't help it while I get even more upset and you giggle even harder. One day I suppose I might giggle too. (Clearly you've acquired at least a small streak of your Daddy's defiant air).

As the years have faded from one to three to seven, your cute baby face has taken on new dimension and beauty, and your little baby teeth have given way to a smile that's beginning to look far too grown up. But along with the physical changes, I've begun to truly appreciate the joys of an older child. There's so much you can do by yourself, so much you want to learn and discover, so many ways you help--sometims begrudgingly but often willingly. You buckle your brother's carseat and make your brothers' lunches (and mine sometimes when you're feeling extra sweet), and read to your brothers in your big grown-up literate voice...and yes, sometimes that confidence you have in being the oldest boils over a bit when you worry about those brothers instead of worrying about yourself, and boss them around because you're the oldest and you "know better."

Your voice and confidence, though, are your latest and greatest discoveries...and I couldn't be more proud of that. Especially these past few weeks. You are finding and using your voice more and more these days; you are tackling some big scary challenges head on. You have conquered so many things that you wouldn't have dared even a year or two ago. You are incredibly strong and brave and inspiring, my love. You make it easier to fight for you and, believe it or not, for myself. And though we both carry certain burdens that I wish I could carry for both of us, the fact that we both still do has resulted in a shared understanding that I have only recently come to appreciate. I think it will prove to be a great source of support and motivation for both of us as we push forward. But for now, I'm just content being blown away by all the ways you continue to break the mold. Expectations or not, you've come so, so far. One day you'll realize just how far and be as amazed as I am. 

Speaking of expectations, I know that sometimes it's so hard to have to let them go. I'm sorry that your birthday this year won't be quite what you wanted or expected. I'm sorry that you spent your last day as a six year old sick on the couch, and I'm sorry that we had to postpone all the fun of birthday doughnuts and a camping party. I'm super bummed that it won't happen when and how you wanted and I know you are, too. But when it does happen, I think it will be almost just as fun as it would've been on your real birthday...and hopefully looking back it will seem like a small bump in the road. I also think this year will be filled with lots of wonderful things that we have yet to imagine. As you taught me, some of the best gifts in life are the unexpected ones.  I love the way you love life, and I love you, my favorite seven year old, with all of my everything--I always have and I always will.

Love,
Mommy*

*not to be confused with "Mom"

An Interview With Marie, Age 7

• Favorite color: Rainbow
• Favorite food: Oh! So many things! Doughnuts for breakfast, Special Lunches [Lunchables] for lunch, Upside Down Day [aka breakfast for dinner] and Chocolate chip cookies for dessert. [Basically all the stuff she's almost never allowed to have!].
• Favorite drink: Strawberry Milk
• Favorite song: Best Day of my Life
• Favorite animal: Bunnies
• Favorite clothes: Outfits that make me look like a rock star!
• Favorite outdoor activity: Riding bikes
• Favorite game: Hide and Seek (and games we make up)
• Favorite Sport: Soccer
• Favorite Hobby: Taking pictures with my camera, singing and dancing
• Favorite TV show: Paw Patrol
• Favorite Movie: Barbie And Her Sisters In A Pony Tail
• Favorite family activities: Going to the movies and family snuggle time
• Favorite place to go on vacation: Camping and skiing [That's my CO girl!]
• What do you want to be when you grow up: It's way too hard to decide! But some are: Policewoman, rock scientist, germ scientist, mountain climber, and being, like, the mom person who helps kids at a girls' orphanage. 
• What are you looking forward to most about being 7? Getting presents! And my First Communion, getting better at skiing, also piano lessons and skating lessons. And being in second grade!

I can't wait for seven with you, kiddo.

Cape May (I Please Go Back?)

So way back when, I posted about our newest family photo shoot which happened during a lovely vacation with my family to Cape May, NJ, and I promised I would write about it soon. And then there was a time warp and I was suddenly filling my planner with school schedule stuff because summer was all but over. [Seriously, everyone I have talked to has experienced the same Phenomenon of the Disappearing Summer this year, so I know I'm not the only one being targeted in this conspiracy].

At any rate, here's the post about the wonderful trip we'll pretend I just took, where I tried reallly reallllllllllly hard to choose only a few or ten photos from each adventure instead of dumping all 2,393 of them. The result is a peek at approximately 2% of our wonderful week!

Before I launch into everything else though, can I just show you how quaint this little Victorian seaside town is? It's at the southernmost tip of New Jersey, hence the significant deviation in appearance from the rest of the Jersey Shore.

In fact, if it weren't for these maddening signs everywhere, might've even forgotten that we were in the state at all! (I must say that as a lifelong leftie, I'm personally offended by New Jersey's vendetta against anyone ever making a left turn).

Don't worry, I wasn't driving!

We stayed in the same beach house we've gone to since we were young, and had some fun reliving the old memories as we read through all of our entries in the guest book from years past (like my last few weeks of freedom before leaving for West Point, sniff). The beach house is only a block from the beach, with some lovely views of the ocean and the sunset from the top deck. Also great access to basking in the sun on the roof (only for children 17+ years old).

Fun at the house...including games of snort, sunset parties, and
early mornings on the deck (or inside for the non-early birds).

We wasted no time in hitting the beach...

The kids and boys (and occasionally Aunt Chica) put in the hard work of digging and building and playing in the sand and the nice cold waves:

Digging for sand crabs! 

...while the remainder of the crew had no qualms about relaxing.

Oh, and Peter and I also did another little cartwheel contest a la our trip last year to San Diego...

At least a high zero, don't you think?

Sadly I fear I'm trending toward the zeros too,

my shoulders aren't what they used to be!

We went mini golfing one afternoon (I strategically chose the group sans varsity golf player and golf coach) and spent another fun afternoon at the zoo.

There's a Coast Guard Station on the bay just a few minutes from the house, so we made sure to take full advantage of the super low kayak and paddleboard rentals:

(Although nearby bathrooms weren't plentiful for potty-training toddlers).

There were lobster dinners out and dinners in...

You can dress us up...

...but sometimes it's best not to take us out.

And the best part: lots of happy bonding time for the kiddos with their beloved Grandma and Yabba...

...and of course their favorite Aunt Chica and Uncle Q.

Peter and I even got a little bonding time in too with some walks along the beach and a date night out.

The day we left, we had some extra time so we stopped by Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell (which Marie loved since she studied American Symbols last year in first grade). We also made an obligatory stop to Pat's Cheese Steaks; in all the years of my parents living on the outskirts of Philly, apparently my dad had never experienced either a Pat's or Gino's Cheese Steak. (They're two famous Cheese Steak stands right across from each other and the rivalry as to which is better goes wayyyyyyyy back).

I love this picture beyond words.

The whole trip definitely filled that longing that's always there to spend more time with my family, and the week in Cape May absolutely satisfied my beach fix (though yes, I wouldn't mind a return trip right about now). It was so special to share my love of the beach with the kids and make more memories with the people I love most--I hope we'll get to do it again some day!

The Darndest Things

For nearly two years now, I've been keeping running notes on my phone of funny and entertaining and profound stuff the kids say so I don't forget it. (Sadly there was a good six to nine month break in there somewhere). I've shared a few in the past on social media, but I'm long past due to put all of these golden quotes somewhere more permanent--and make room for new ones--so here's installment number one of Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Marie

"Mommy, you're the best cook ever in the world! ...except for Daddy, he's the best grilled cheese maker in the world."


The next night at dinner:
"Raise your hand if you like this meal!" [Adults half-heartedly raise hands].
"Now raise your hand if you don't like it!" [Three kid hands shoot into the air.]

Me: "Marie, does it look like I can help more than one person at once?!"
Marie: "No." [Sigh.] "I just wish you had lots more arms. All moms should have lots of arms, like an octopus."
Me: "Agreed."


Marie: "Mommy, who made God?"
Me: "No one. He was just always there, because He's in charge of the universe."
Marie: "So he was never born and never got to have a mom and dad?"
Me: "Nope, just Jesus."
Marie: "Oh. That's sad for God."


Leaving for church: 

Marie: "Why is everyone dressed in blue? Did we plan this or something?"

Peter: "I guess it just worked out that way."
Marie: "No, I know why! It's because we're a police crew today!"

"Erik, the princesses and princes at Disneyworld aren't real, they're just characters. Only the Tooth Fairy and Santa and the Easter Bunny are real."


"I'm so sad. There are so many things I want to be when I grow up but I can never be all of them...a policewoman, a mermaid, an artist, a superhero--except I couldn't be that last one for real--and a fire woman, and a veterinarian..."


Marie: "Mommy, do you know what I'd really like for the Christmas after I turn eight?"
Me: "What?"
Marie: "My own phone!"
[May the Good Lord help me].


[While I was attempting to be a good mom and teach the kids an alphabet game at dinner:]
Marie: "P my name is Pearl.
My husband's name is Pat.
We come from Pennsylvania
And we sell... [thinking...]
...PORNAMENTS! Hahahaha!
Get it? Like ornaments but with a P!"

[Peter/me in our heads: That does not mean what you think it means, daughter...]

Erik

While wearing a knight costume and staggering around with closed eyes:
"I'm the Blind knight who bumped into the tree branches and they stole my sightedness. And now the tree has my sightedness."

At Marie's kindergarten graduation, there was a slide show with music and pictures from throughout the year, followed by a picnic at a nearby playground, which the boys attended with me. As we prepared to leave the playground, Erik became upset. When asked what was wrong, he stared longingly at the slide and said "I kept waiting, but the slide show never happened!"


As brother was struggling to write his name:
"No Ethan, an E has four lines in it!"


"Do you know what Hershey kisses look like upside down? CHOCOLATE TORNADOES!"


Ethan: "Good morning, Erik."
Erik: "I'm not Erik, I'm a brave knight. That's why I came out of my fairy tale, because I heard someone say 'tiger!'"

Erik: "What does one plus zero plus zero equal?"
Marie: "One."
Erik: "Nuh-uh! It equals one hundred!"
Peter: "That's not really how it works..."

Erik: "I want a statue like Anna had to put my clothes on at night."
Me: "It's called a mannequin."
Erik: "A man ken?! Hahaha!"


Peter: "Erik, come here NOW!"
Erik: [pitter patter pitter patter].
Peter: "I told you next time you tied up something you're not supposed to, you'd be in big trouble...and here you've tied your brother and your sister together?!?!"


Erik, attempting to say something while everyone else in the car was talking:
"Hey.
Hey![Getting frustrated].
Hey guys!!! [Deep breath as siblings continue to ignore him.]
OKAY BOYS AND GIRLS! Listen UP!!!"


After baking a cake with Gran:
"I've decided when I'm a grownup I want to own a bakery with Gran, and every night we will make desserts to eat. And the people who don't like to bake their own desserts will drive through the little window and buy our desserts."
(Mark his words, world. Drive-through bakeries patented by Erik, coming to a corner near you in 2030. I call first dibs!).


Erik: "Mommy, what color was it when space wasn't there? Like, before God made it?"
Me: "Hmm, I don't really know."
[A week later...].
Erik: "Mommy, I think I know what color it was before space."
Me: "Oh you're still thinking about that, huh? What did you decide?"
Erik: "I think it was invisible!!"

Upon losing his first tooth: 

"Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?"

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think it's the parents that do it like Marie said her friends told her."

"Well I guess you can see what happens tonight when we're all sleeping and decide for yourself."

[Running wildly into my room the next morning...]

"Mommy, look! I got a dollar! The Tooth Fairy IS real!!!" 

Ethan

Mommy, my pointer hurts!

Groggily, upon waking up from a nap: "That bear is not in its bear cave. It can't bite us."


Randomly sidling up to Marie during playtime: "Watcha doin' little lady?"


"Look at me, I'm a strong man!" [...while hopelessly twisting the child-locked gummy vitamin lid the wrong direction.]


Ethan: "Mommy what's this?" [Points to a freckle on his arm].

Me: "A freckle. It's just part of your skin."
Ethan, wailing: "I don't want it on me!!!" [Cue 20 min tantrum while holding his arm up in the air because he can't get the freckle off].


Ethan: "Mommy, I want two hot dogs for lunch!"
Me: "Okay." [Make hot dogs and give them to him].
Ethan, wailing: "But where's my hot dog bunnnnnn?!?!" (He'd had a hot dog bun once a few weeks prior, but usually ate them without).
"We don't have any. Sorry." [Cue 37 minutes straight of "where's my hot dog bun?" alternated with "I waaant one!" while I ignore him. Does not touch hot dogs. Eventually suckers Marie into making him a PB&J].


Following a trip to Coldstone: "Daddy, thank you for getting me ice cream at Yellowstone!"


Very seriously: "Mommy. That is a fantastic spiderweb."


A few hours after giving him medicine for a fever: 

Me: "I'm glad you're feeling better now."
Ethan: "Yeah."
Me: "When said you felt tired earlier, did your body have any ouchies?"
Ethan: "Um...well the clock was bothering me."
Me: "Okay, and how about on your body or in your body?"
Ethan: "No, it was bothering me from da wall."


Me: "Ethan, put your crocs on and get in the car." 

Melting down: "NOOOO! I want my feet to go naked!!!!"


Running upstairs, crying: "Erik said I'm a piece of ham!!!"


To Marie, randomly: "Don't you dare eat my pocket!"

Crying: "The fort bonked me on the head!"


While swinging on a squeaky swing at the playground:
"Mommy, the swing is talking in Spanish."


On dizziness: 

"Why is everything spinning around?" [Falls.] Oh, it's because I'm still spinning!


Tossing a book to the floor while sitting on a chair in the waiting room...

Ethan:  [Heafty sigh] "Mommy, I'm having a hard time." 

Me:     "I'm sorry to hear that buddy. What are you having a hard time with?" 

Ethan: "This day."


Ethan, looking at Marie pensively:
"You're my sister!"


"Chili-yo means 'triceratops' in French!"


After I had filled the car up one day:
Ethan: "Mommy, can I help you get gas sometime?!"
Me: "Hmm, I think when you're seven or eight that would be a good job for you."
Ethan: "Okay, I'll do dat when I'm seven!!! ...But Mommy?"
Me: "Yes?"
Ethan: "What will I look like when I'm seven?"
Me: [Making unintelligible noises while choking back mom tears.]
Ethan: "Will I be this same color but my number will be different?"
Me: "Yes, buddy...and I bet I'll love you even more than I do right now."

A{nother} {Summer} Family Photo Shoot

While visiting my family for my sister's graduation, we had the fortune of spending a week in Cape May, NJ, a quaint little beach town where my family has spent many glorious vacations growing up. (More on the whole trip soon!).

When you're at the beach, and getting together is hard to come by, family photos are sort of a given.

My brother told us to pack some dark wash jeans, and generously picked up some matching goodies from "L'anana" and her sister stores (as we Frenchies call it), and with my sister's camera, some go-to poses/re-creations from our last formal photo op together, and the perfect golden hour light, we had ourselves a little photo shoot.

Surprisingly, it was sort of fun and not as painful as we expected (which is easy to do when you have zero expectations of fun or success considering the youngest subjects. Getting to play in the sand helped).

And because I'm one le tired mama right now, I'm just slapping these all in a post with as little thought as possible--literally no editing or cropping--but the good thing is that they hardly need it to begin with. (Now, to just decide which Hjelmstad clan photo should be featured in the middle of our blank gallery wall that is now going on three months of sad, lonely, emptiness. Votes welcome!).

As always, pictures are (c) the Hjelmstad/McQuaig Family, and may not be used for any reason without express permission from the owners. 

The Whole Crew

It was so insanely windy that it took a good five shots to get any of the ladies not eating their hair...
 I was glad I brought my hat for the rest!

The Kiddos

(I'll crop you out, Chica, don't worry!)

Pretty sure this one's my most favorite. Also editorial-worthy...look out, Crewcuts!

 I love how all these shots of the kids totally nail their personalities.

The HJ Clan

Option #1

Option #2 (I like the full boat but pretty sure kid expressions in #1 win).

It worked last time when the kids were getting crazy, and it worked again this time.

Option #3 (This was the best out of like 50 of this pose. I love the ocean in the background, but I'm thinking
Marie looks like she just touched one of those static electricity globes.)

The Parentals

The McQ Clan

The girls. (The all-boys photo op got derailed by a horseshoe crab sighting).

Aren't they beautiful?

And, most importantly, lots of

  S h e n a n i g a n s . 

A re-creation to make up for the lack of all-boys picture: five men and a little lady. 

If you look closely you can see the gummy worm bribes that the kids didn't choke down

before the shutter click. I don't know why, I mean, they're only upside down...

Also totally re-created from the last family photo shoot. 

I love your smile in this one, Ma!

The story on these shots: so that lovely couple necking on the lifeguard stand was there when we arrived. They saw us, and the girl told us how we were the cutest family, we were so fun to watch, etc. They even let us put the camera on the lifeguard stand ladder so we could do a few with everyone with the timer, which was quite nice of them. And then they got right back to business for the rest of the hour we were out there. We did our best to work around them, even though it made it difficult to get pictures in the boat without some canoodling photobombs. But in the end, we decided that if you can't beat 'em, just join 'em. Amiright?

And then we got a real one for good measure. (Sorry family in the background. Photoshop is coming for you).

I'll never let go, Jack! (Or guy on the lifeguard stand, whatever your name is).

And that's a wrap!