A Hjelmstad-Griswold Christmas {Aka The Grand Tree Misadventure, In Pictures}

As you've probably seen, our tree took on a personality all its own this year. Here's the story.

We decided that we'd take advantage of Colorado's Regional Christmas Tree Program, which helps the Forest Service manage certain areas of the forest while you get to cut down a tree in their designated areas for - get this - a whopping $10. Win-win. 

Or so we thought.

We drove up after Thanksgiving on Black Friday, since that was the only time we had between work and alll the many weekend commitments packed into our calendar before Christmas. We stopped by the ranger station, got our map of designated areas, and picked a spot near Lake Dillon to go hunt for the perfect Christmas Tree. It went something like this:[Cue The Griswolds Finding their Christmas Tree].

Except it was a little warmer, the scenery was 100% better, and instead of someone's toes freezing a kid decided he needed to poop in the middle of the forest.

Also, instead of forgetting the saw, we forgot the tape measure. 

Small details. 

The sun indeed shone down on the Perfect Tree when Peter found it, just like it did for Father Griswold, and since we forgot the tape measure, we thought we could judge its relatively small size in relation to the other trees around it. 

For reference:  

Tall

Taller...

"Small."

The cool part: we counted the rings and found that
our tree was the same age as Peter and me.

Tiny, right? [Wrong].
It was at this point that we remembered that we had to carry it. Allllll the way back to the car.

The kids had fun playing while we attempted to drag the tree to the road.
(Which happened between our five attempts to help the one child who needed to
answer the call of nature).

Our backs [were just beginning to] hurt - but our eyes were happy. So happy. 

Most frequently-asked questions: 

1. How did you get it home? 

2. How did you manage to put it up?

3. How in the world did you get it decorated?

Well, this is how we got it home - cargo bungees, sore backs, careful driving, and lots of looks. 

Now, remember the little part about the measuring tape? Well, when we got home and measured it, our "little" looking tree cleared the ceiling by about 2 inches (which is 18' at its highest point and about 16' at the furthest point we could push the tree back to with its ginormous circumference). Two inches, people. I'd like to go on the record as saying that I tried to convince Peter to cut at least six inches off the bottom when we got home. [Tried and failed. Lessons learned]. I'd also like to go on the record to say that we've successfully put up 13-15' trees the past two years. But they were a different kind, bought locally - which were a few hundred dollars more expensive, but also a few hundred pounds lighter.

Which brings us to the "how the heck did we set it up" question. Let's just say if we had anyone around to document us trying to set it up, we would've put them to work instead of documenting it. It took three tries to get the brute standing upright, and we almost quit after the second try, in which the base that I was trying to hold in place with all my might pushed me straight into the wall and dented our air return vent. We took a break, texted a few people [who weren't home] to see if they could help, and then we decided to try one more time. Just one. And voila! A true Christmas miracle.

Later, when we had enough energy and perspective to laugh, we thought it was funny that our backs were so "sore" simply carrying it to the car--if only we'd known what was to come.

We did it!

...but for real. Insanity.

As for how we got it decorated....

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C
(Attempting to put the angel up for the 50th time with only two inches of clearance).

After it fell about 49 times, I had this great jerry-rigging idea - that didn't work.

Finally, during one of our jerry-rigging attempts,
the angel fell into an upright-ish sort of spot on a top branch. So there she stayed.

And it was magical.

We had a few more fun Griswold moments, like finding pinecones in the wash and a bit of
tree branch dangling from the car window a few days later.

But overall, it was magical.
Especially getting to share it with my family over Christmas.
(We also got to share a stomach bug, which was less magical,
but that's another story for another day. Or not).

Exhibit D: How to dwarf the present pile.

In the end, the adventure was worth the ten bucks I think.

Our good Ole Goliath made it till Christmas before it started dying, so sadly I think it will have to come down before the Epiphany. (If you're local and you want to help, you're more than welcome to come on over and join the felling party...ha...ha...) But it had a good run, and I think we learned our lesson for next year:

Never forget the tape measure.

[Or the saw].

Cheers!