More Tragedy...Still Hope

I don't normally like to jump on the social commentary bandwagon when it comes to my personal blog, but after hearing an extremely moving and honest reaction to our nation's most recent tragedy, which occurred less than 15 miles from our home, I think there are some things worth repeating.

We went to church as usual this weekend, but the service began quite differently when our pastor, a Deacon, asked us to stand and just join hands in solidarity for a moment of silent prayer. It was one of the most powerful moments of silence I've experienced, seeing arms outstretched, old and young grasping hands in intense sadness and prayer, but all the while forming an unbreakable circle of unity.

Then our pastor, with incredibly raw emotion, delivered a simple yet profound message. I'll paraphrase as best as I can, considering the fact that I wasn't exactly taking notes. But he said while watching the news, while seeing the agony of the victims and their families, he was asking the same questions we're all asking, looking for the same answers we all want. Why--how--could someone do something like this? Why do senseless things like this keep happening? And more pointedly, how could God let this happen? "Well if I had the answer, I'd tell you," he said. "But the answer I did get after spending some time in prayer was clear: more love. All those campaigning for 'justice' are really calling for revenge. They want this man to experience the same kind of pain and agony that the victims did. But I am here to tell you that God is justice. He is the only one who can determine that young man's fate, not us.What we need is more love to help heal this sick and crazy world of ours, not more hate. And that starts with us. It is our job to love."

He continued, sharing a quote that his family often repeated to him: "When you get to the pearly gates, God's not going to ask you what kind of car you drove or how many bedrooms your house had. The first thing He's going to ask is how you cared for the people that He put in your life for you to love."

Our pastor then charged us to love and to pray for the killer who had just murdered so many innocent people. "I can't help but think that somewhere in the course of his life, someone did now show him the love he needed. Pray for him."

You could have heard a pin drop.

I know in my own life, some people are easy to love. But others, not so much. I think of all the people who have hurt or disappointed me in some way or another. It's difficult to swallow my hurt and pride and say a prayer for them. It takes a heck of a lot of work to forgive them, because I never really want to. And to love them? Nothing could be more challenging. And their actions pale in comparison to the sickening cold-blooded murder that this young man so easily carried out. It's pretty radical to think that our response on this young man who caused so much evil should be to love him, to pray for him, when I already have such a hard time forgiving minor personal offenses.

But I also know that God does send people in our lives by accident. Our love, in fact, may be the piece of the puzzle God is using to change or help someone else. Our pastor's words got me thinking about who actually 'deserves' love. In the Army, our first few promotions were said to be "based on potential" as opposed to based on merit. This meant that our rank reflected the responsibilities we could be charged with, not what we had previously accomplished. I always thought this was a bit of a silly approach, but when it comes to God's love, I'm sure glad that it's not a merit-based approach. I know God can see infinite possibilities in who we have the potential to become. But I know how incredibly often I fall short of that mark. We all do. If God only loved me for the things I had done or failed to do I would be in a world of hurt right now. We all would. While He certainly doesn't condone evil or our poor choices (and neither should we), God loves us in spite of them. And He wants us to do the same.

As I reflected on this, I understood our pastor's words a little more fully. The choice to love is simple, not easy. But it is necessary. I know those words I heard were true--that more hate and resentment will do nothing to heal this crazy, messed up world of ours. It can only damage it further. I know that love cannot bring back victims, heal those who have been injured, or erase the reality of this horrid event or any other heartbreak in our world. But neither can hate or resentment. And when we love those who are hardest to love, forgive those who least deserve it, and pray for those who have damaged us the most, these actions have the power to change our aching world. Maybe just our little corner of it, but change it nonetheless. We never know what souls we might affect; we never know what evil we may be able to prevent, all by making the decision to choose love. I hope that this time I have the courage to do my part.