Hyp Mama: The Grand Finale - Ethan's Birth Story!

Many of you have seen these posts and expressed interest in finding out more about Hypnobirthing. You can find all the posts I've written about it here:

My Discovery of Hypnobirthing: 

Hypno-What?!

The Hypnobabies Lessons I've blogged through:

Hyp-Mama: Zero Day 

Hyp-Mama: Lesson 1 - The Power of Words

Hyp-Mama: Lesson 2 - Out Like a Light!

Hyp-Mama: Lesson 3 - Blissfully Numb

Hyp-Mama: Lessons 4&5 - Push it to the Limit

Hyp-Mama: The Grand Finale - Ethan's Birth Story! 

And also be sure visit the Hypnobabies website, www.hypnobabies.com, for more great information. (Some of the Hypnobabies links embedded in my posts may be outdated since Hypnobabies has updated their website). If you have any questions or want more details, please feel free to send me a message and ask away!

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I know the star of the show is almost three months old, but considering the fact that I never got around to writing the birth story for my first “hypnobaby”, it’s a bit of a miracle that I got this one down before the kid left for college!

So if your favorite pastime is reading exceedingly long and drawn out baby stories, if you’re interested in hypnobirthing, or you have nothing better to do, then this post is for you! Everyone else: you’ve been forewarned.

For the purpose of this birth story:

Pressure Wave=Contraction

Birthing Time=Labor

Baby-in-waiting=Ethan

It all started on Thursday, October 27^th when I was getting ready for work around 9am. I was already in my uniform and trying to bend down to tie my boots when it happened: my water broke! Or so I thought. There was no big gush but definitely some seeping, and it was the last thing I expected, so I texted my husband and boss, then went out to the living room to tell our nanny. “Don’t freak out, everything’s fine,” I said, “…but I think maybe my water just broke?” At which point she absolutely freaked out and started bustling around the house with excitement making sure everything was ready, asking if I needed anything, getting me food, etc. I wasn’t so excited, though because nothing was happening. No pressure waves, no “pain,” just the discomfort that I’d been feeling, say, for a few months now. And I did NOT want to be one of those women who had to be induced because her water broke and she hadn’t progressed.

I called the clinic and they told me to come in so they could put me on the monitor. My husband got home and triple checked to make sure we had everything, then we stalled for a bit because Ethan was moving around just fine and it still seemed like nothing was happening except the constant seeping of fluid. Finally we went in to the clinic and sat for while in the monitoring room with some belts and monitors on my belly which recorded Ethan’s heart rate, movement, and my pressure waves. Other than Ethan kicking and punching the monitor the whole time (the nurse thought it was hilarious), and some irregular pressure waves being recorded (which pretty much felt like nothing to me), everything was fine. So they sent me to the midwife to get checked out and see if my water had actually broken. Fluid was still definitely seeping, but after a litmus test and a few other tests, they confirmed that my water had not broken. I was pretty confused by this because of the fluid that was still leaking, so while in the waiting room I consulted my ever-trusty smart phone and read that there are actually two layers to the bag of waters, and that sometimes fluid collects in between. The outer layer can rupture and some fluid can leak out while the main bag of waters is still intact. This is my best guess of what happened, though I never found out what the cause of the leaking fluid was for sure. They just told me to go rest up and not worry about it. Yeah right.

So we went to the mall for a bit and walked around to see if that would jump-start things; no dice. All it did was make me tired, so I dejectedly bought some yoga pants and we drove home for dinner. I was still feeling tired and was tempted to go to bed early since it had been a long day, but it was Thursday night and my husband convinced me to stay up to watch our favorite show, The Office. 

Bad move; less than two hours later I woke from a dead sleep to an unmistakable sensation: a real pressure wave. It was midnight. I tried to go back to sleep, but as soon as I started to drift off, another wave began. I looked at the clock; only ten minutes had surpassed. And so it went for another hour and a half, me trying to ignore the pressure waves and the waves getting stronger and closer together and totally ignoring my desire to ignore them.

Finally around 3 am I got up and went to the bathroom, walked around, did some deep breathing, and decided maybe it was time to wake my husband up (since I did not want to wake him up any sooner than necessary!) He bolted awake, scrambled to get some clothes on and called the nanny to come watch the kids while I gave in and called Labor and Delivery. They told me that the on-call provider would call me back, which took forEVer. He told me to come to the hospital, but since Ethan seemed to be moving around like a champ, and things seemed to be progressing pretty slowly, I grumbled and tried to stall a little longer because I really just wanted to sleep so I could be well-rested.  I finally put on my headphones and started listening to my “Easy First Stage” birthing CD and we got in the car, arriving at the hospital around 4:30 am.

We had to take the longest possible route through the newly renovated maze of hospital corridors and hidden elevators, stopping every few minutes so I could breathe my way through some pressure waves. Finally we arrived to Labor and Delivery and they put me in a frigid waiting room with a bed because the rest of the delivery rooms were in use or still being prepped. My pressure waves were still pretty far apart and completely manageable, especially with my deep breathing and serene Hypnobabies scripts piping through my headphones. After some waiting, deep breathing, more waiting, a great deal of squirming and kicking on Ethan’s part, lots more waiting, and some swaying and squatting and moving around on my part to try to get this thing going already, the nurse finally came in and said we could move to the delivery room. Hooray! One ridiculously long hospital hour down (and only ten to go)!

Once in the delivery room, the sweet and amazingly wonderful nurses asked what my preferences were for the birthing time; I told them I was using hypnobirthing and would be birthing naturally. They smiled with delight, said they’d fetch the birthing ball I’d requested (just a big exercise ball) and mentioned putting me on the monitor to check my progress. But before they could continue being so sweet and wonderful, the doctor on call barged in (whom I will dub “the Bitter and Cynical Dr. Contemptuous”) and proclaimed thus: “Well you can keep walking the halls and doing your thing or you can get in bed so we can start your line right now and admit you.” First of all, I’d given birth in this very hospital to two other children without IVs and had never been told I wasn’t allowed to move around once I was admitted. Second of all, I knew for a fact that I didn’t have to get an IV line if I didn’t want one and was totally prepared to sign any and all release forms. So in the sweetest, kindest, most docile tone imaginable (which believe me, takes a great deal of effort for someone in labor who’s been up all night), I told Dr. Contemptuous that I desired to birth our child naturally, that I’d had no complications with my other two natural deliveries, and I did not need an IV or any medications at the moment [thankyouverymuch]. Whereupon he immediately snarled at me in front of everyone that he WOULD NOT admit me if I refused medical treatment. And oh by the way there was a shift change in ten minutes so if the next doctor wanted to assume such an uncalculated risk, so be it, but he would not hear of such preposterousness or be liable for a defiant patient like me on his watch, No Sir-ee! (Or something like that, but I don’t remember the exact words since I was also trying to get through a pressure wave at the moment). And then he stomped out of the room. In shock, we turned to the sweet and wonderful nurse who immediately began apologizing profusely for Dr. Contemptuous’s disdainful behavior, reminding us that we had the right to refuse any medical treatment we wanted, and assuring us that she would not let a laboring woman be turned out on the street. I wanted to hug her. 

Thankfully, about twenty minutes later, the new doctor, whom I shall grace with the title, “the Infinitely Kind and more Reasonable Dr. Sensible” came in, introduced himself, and maturely explained the risks of not having an IV. He then told me that I was free to continue doing what I wanted to do, no medical waivers necessary. Whew. Crisis averted, I happily remained IV-less in my room with the birth ball, my Hypnobabies CDs, and the monitor which assured us that baby Ethan and my pressure waves were both doing well. Then Dr. Sensible checked me and told me I was only about four centimeters dilated (Jiminy Cricket, after six hours?!? Not fair!). So I despondently braced myself for the long haul and things got really boring for the next ten or so hours until the kid came out.

But on to the part that you all really want to hear about already (or maybe you just skipped to it): did the whole Hypnobabies thing work???

Short answer:

Yes indeed.

Long answer (Feel free to grab a quick coffee break):

It was not completely ‘pain-free’ per say, but at no point did I ever want or need pain medication. Sure, things got intense, and it took my full concentration to manage each pressure wave once they got very strong, but I was never hung up on getting relief from medication. I just wanted things to be over and done with since it was such a looooong birthing process and I was pretty tired by the time things really got going.

What did it feel like?

Weirdly, with my previous “hypnobaby,” I was able to somehow cancel out the “pain” when I vocalized enough (humming or moaning) to match the intensity of the pressure wave; it just became strong pressure. This time around, I never quite got to that point where I could completely block out the cramping sensation and only experiencing pressure, even though I tried to direct my anesthesia (maybe practicing more would have remedied that since I was a pretty distracted student this time!). Each wave started out with a lot of pressure and then morphed into powerful cramping, then slowly subsided again to pressure. But even though I could feel the cramping, I was able to silently breathe my way through every wave almost the entire time using deep breaths. Staying relaxed and using the Hypnobaby techniques helped make it totally manageable and minimize the time where I actually had to acknowledge the cramping sensation.

What provided the most relief?

The whole time this was going on I was listening to my “Easy First Stage” of the Hypnobabies CD on repeat, and it seemed to help when Kerry Tuschhoff, the dear Founder of Hypnobabies would whisper through my headphones, “open, open, open!” I’d say “open” in my head and try to visualize each pressure wave opening the birth canal just a little more. It sounds silly, but it worked in some of those moments when the pressure wave and subsequent cramping was strongest…although I wasn’t having much luck directing my anesthesia, directing the ‘pain’ by concentrating on what the cramping was accomplishing in those few most intense seconds made it bearable. Whenever I started to get impatient, I tried to remind myself to focus on the fact that I was making progress with the current pressure wave instead of how many more I needed to get through. I even remember smiling inwardly at the height of one pressure wave because it was just so gloriously powerful and I knew I was that much closer to holding my beautiful son.

For awhile it also helped to have my husband touch the back of my neck and give me what’s referred to as a “relaxation cue,” saying either “Peace” or “Relax.” This helped me remember to completely relax all of my muscles which reduced the intensity of the cramping. I sat for much of the time on the birth ball next to the bed so I could rest on the bed in between waves when I got tired. In between waves I also chatted with my husband, told the nurses and interns about hypobirthing (they thought what I was doing was incredibly awesome and wanted to learn more!), surfed Facebook and sent texts and read emails on my phone (collective groan for the digital age haters), and generally tried to distract myself from my annoyance that it was taking so long, especially since my previous birthing time only lasted six hours. But what helped the most, both in between waves and during waves when I was able to concentrate, was the meditation and prayer that I tried to incorporate into my Hypnobabies program. I prayed for the safety of our beautiful boy making his way into the world, for friends and loved ones who were sick, especially my grandmother, for Army friends who had been injured or killed, for their families, for friends going through hard times, for the continued health and safety of our family…pretty much for everyone and everything I could think of. When I started to get discouraged, those prayers were a lifesaver!

So what did it look (and sound) like?

During a pressure wave about ten hours in...I'm sitting

on the birth ball next to the bed and listening to

my CD while breathing through the wave. 

Looks pretty boring, huh?

We kept the room dimly lit, and it was calm and quiet pretty much the entire time. Though the battle was getting very intense for me internally, everyone who came in the room was amazed that I was “in labor” because it sure didn’t look like it; the only way they could tell I was progressing or getting pressure waves was because the line on the monitor kept spiking every few minutes. Most of the nurses wanted to know more, so my husband or I would point them to the Hypnobabies book and handouts we’d brought with us, or I’d offer to share a headphone so they could listen in on my dreamy relaxation scripts for awhile. I took a great deal of satisfaction as the professional staff seemed to realize that maybe childbirth doesn’t have to be the garment-rending affair most make it out to be.

So…what happened when things actually progressed? 

Well, the whole ten hours I was trying not to be impatient, it turns out that Ethan man was “floating;” i.e. his head wasn’t down very far in my pelvis because my water hadn’t broken yet. Dr. Sensible talked to me briefly about the benefits vs. risks of breaking my water, and said that he didn’t recommend it since it can cause the cord to become caught or compressed. I was definitely on board with Dr. Sensible’s recommendation, and instead tried to do things that would open up my pelvis like walking, sitting on the birth ball, and squatting during as many waves as possible. I eventually started to feel ‘pushy’ when squatting during pressure waves. We told the nurse the next time she came in so Dr. Sensible decided to check me again…and this time I was a whole six centimeters dilated! Talk about depressing. I decided to switch to the second track on my Hypnobabies CD, “Pushing Baby Out” to see if that would help speed things along. Shortly after that, while squatting during another wave, it finally happened: my water broke! This time there was no mistaking it. My husband thought it was pretty funny that I was grossed out by all the “water” on my feet and the floor as the nurses rushed clean up the disgusting mess. Immediately after that, I felt lots of relief, got a few good ‘pushy’ pressure waves and then…nothing. It was as if the birthing clock had stopped. I was pretty sure it was just my body catching up with the fact that there was a lot less stuff inside me now to squeeze out, but I was determined that I would get this baby out today. So I did more squats and lunges until I started feeling the urge to push again.

Did Exhale Pushing Help?

Kind of. But it kind of didn’t apply, either. Around the time the waves started getting pretty strong again, instead of just silently breathing I had to start vocalizing a bit, saying “aahhhh” at the height of each pressure wave. I decided to request the squat bar for the bed and the nurse said she’d check me again to see if Ethan’s head was more engaged in the pelvis since I’d been feeling pushy for so long. “Hmm, you’re about a seven, mayyybe an eight,” she said, then left the room. I was deflated. My exhaustion had set in, and the waves were getting very close together and strong enough now that I had to say “aaahhh” very loudly…I was trying to use the exhale pushing techniques but wondered how much longer I would be able to keep this up. Well I didn’t have to wonder very long, because the next wave I felt the most intense pressure imaginable and couldn’t help from yelling “aaarrgghhhh!” at the top of my lungs. My husband glanced at the monitor and started toward the door, then stopped because he realized he might need to catch a baby. Thankfully my yelling was loud enough for the nurse to come running in. As soon as she got to the bed a look of terror registered on her face; she scrambled to get her gloves on and began yelling, “Dr. Sensible!!! DR. SENSIBLE!!! GET IN HERE!!!!” (Not surprisingly, she could see Ethan’s head). She then began yelling frantically at me to STOP PUSHING and BREATHE! (which I was not about to do…all I could think was, “lady, this baby is coming whether you like it or not!”). Luckily, Dr. Sensible burst through the door just as the next pressure wave started; he tried to do some quick cord untangling because it was wrapped multiple times around Ethan’s neck and his heart rate was dipping, and ultimately he just had to cut the cord to get Ethan out.  Thankfully that was the only issue, and lo and behold, there he was after only two pushes—our beautiful baby boy!

Little "Bruiser"

How about the Aftermath?

The official time was 2:20 pm on October 28th (so start to finish the process took about 14 hours). They gave him directly to me, but he looked pretty purple after his cord ordeal so they had me hold a tube with pure oxygen next to his face.  It turned out that it wasn’t really the lack of oxygen, but the fact that he came out so fast that bruised his face and made him all purple. One nurse even told us he looked like he got in a street fight! He nursed right away and I was able to cuddle with him for over an hour. I was tired (and starving!!!) but otherwise felt great afterwards; I was up walking around in a few hours and we were able to go home the next day and live happily ever after because I had no epidural, IV, or unnecessary interventions. Though it was my longest “labor” and I wouldn’t have agreed to go through it again right afterwards, I considered it an all-around great birthing. Thankfully the mind is great at forgetting the “pain” and remembering the beauty of it all, so if we’re blessed in the future with a ‘next time,’ I’ll be standing by with my trusty Hypnobabies!

And that, my friends, is the end of this exceedingly long and drawn out birth story! (Yes, I could have made it longer, so be thankful). Hope you enjoyed, and if you have questions about the process or want to learn more, let me know!