The Chores and Allowance Post

Let's consider two fairly universal truths:

People like money.

People don't like chores.

It's proved true for us and definitely true for our kids. They're all about the money, money, but doing chores is just torture. I grew up with chores but no formal allowance, while Peter grew up with both-- yet with constant changes in our own work/life balance for so many years, we've long struggled with how to manage these things in our own home and family. So we decided to come up with a plan to address both, especially now that we're entering the big-ish kid stage.

Granted, we've always believed in and instilled the importance of teamwork--if you live in the house, you're expected to help take care of it--and our kids became self-sufficient in many ways early on. They learned how to get their own breakfast, they pack their own lunches for school with minimal assistance, and they've all been able to unload the dishwasher for quite some time.

But my lack of organization has made any formal approach difficult to manage. We've had good intentions and even tried a loosely-organized system or two, but they weren't very well thought out and I only made half-hearted attempts to implement them. So naturally, they never stuck. Thankfully, the good idea allowance and chore fairy recently sprinkled some pixie dust on our home, and I'm here to share our joy!

But first, a look at our former reality...

Chores Then:

-Kids had no motivation to complete chores and only did so with much wailing and griding of teeth when I made them. 

-Usually there was no rhyme or reason to when I made them. 

-Sometimes it was just a consequence for their latest unsavory deed.

-Or I needed the dishes done so I could get to the crockpot buried under them so we could actually eat.

Allowance Then:

-Laziness usually won out because a) remembering to get cash is inconvenient and b) teaching budgeting takes time and work. And I stink at teaching.

-So we settled for just buying them what they needed when they needed it.

-Which often turned into us getting stuff that was wanted but not, in fact, needed.

In sum, not the greatest approach. We did have a sorta-kinda system of rewards in place for when the kids achieved big goals they had been working toward, but for the most part we were winging that too.

Recently though, Marie started asking again about allowance and if there was anything she could do to earn certain items that she, like, just had to have. So in a stroke of genius, we [Peter] thought up a way to marry these two truths and came up with a system for chores and allowance that's actually really promising. I'm seriously excited about it, and the kids are being surprisingly responsive, too. (It's pretty darn simple and probably already out there on Pinterest in some form or another, but Peter doesn't Pinterest and I don't feel like looking, so this is the version straight from his brain).

It goes like this: 

• 3 kids
• 1 daily chore each
• 1 weekly chore each
• $2 of basic allowance per week
• Potential to earn up to $5 total per week by doing additional chores

Super simple, right? We picked out the daily and weekly chores for each kid based on what our biggest needs were around the house (aka the chores that pile up and we can never get ahead on).

Chores Now:

Peter helped the kids come up with a game plan for when to do their daily chores. During the summer, they will complete their chore during the time they would otherwise be getting ready for school. For example, Marie will put in a load of laundry first thing in the morning, then switch the load to the dryer after breakfast and be ready to fold clothes over lunch or in the afternoon. Peter also did a "chore teaching" session with each kid for the weekly chores; he showed Ethan where everything goes in the garage, trained Erik to flawlessly scoop poop, and cleaned the bathroom with Marie so she knows what right looks like when scrubbing the toilet. [Score].

I, on the other hand, helped come up with all the extra chores they can do to earn money [gleeful cackle], and it's my job to be Chore Enforcer Extraordinaire and keep track of any extra chores the kids do. It's been easy so far because the extra money is a definite motivation...we'll see how I'm doing in a month after the whining sets in. 

Allowance Now:

Peter is taking care of retrieving the weekly allowance in the form of small bills. He also walked the kids through how they should allot money for savings (kept in their piggy banks) and spending (kept in their wallets). Each week they are to put .50 cents in savings, and to bring .50 cents, or the "first fruits" of their allowance, to church for the collection basket. This amounts to a 10% savings and 10% tithe if they earn the full $5 of allowance each week. Otherwise, it adds up to 50% of their basic allowance (more motiveation!). I, meanwhile, am in charge of holding wallets hostage for extra chores when they are left lying around the house and garage (not that any children have already done that or anything). But really, my job is to be the voice of reason, helping them understand that saving toward something has its merits, no matter how hot their pocket might seem with two fat dolla dolla bills burning a hole in it. I'm also the default teacher/voice of reason when conversations like this happen:

Marie: "Can we go out to eat more this summer?"
Me: "Eating out costs money. So it depends on how much money we want to put toward eating out versus other stuff we want."
Marie: "I know! If you give us more allowance, then we can pay for our own food at the restaurant so you don't have to!"
Me: "That's not how it works..."

Family Meetings Too:

On the adulting level, we're working on doing a better job of managing from the top down. We've put a weekly family meeting on the calendar that includes a financial review to determine priorities, and a running list of topics up for discussion or planning. This has already been very valuable and was the catalyst to help us really round out the initial ideas Peter had for implementing our chores and allowance system.

We went live with the full system this week and it's going really well so far; out of the three kids, one does her daily job first thing without prompting, another does his immediately after prompting, and the third does his with lots of promoting and constant motivation. Which is perfectly bearable for me so far (again, check back in a month).

Vying for the vacuum. #icouldgetusedtothis

Besides sharing the wealth with the kids (ha...hahaaa..) I think this new system is good for us as parents, too, (mostly me!). It forces us to keep a schedule and foster accountability, which I inherently struggle with, and allows us to be involved in constant conversations about teamwork and money management. 

All in all, a very positive change thus far, and a routine I'm excited to work hard on maintaining! 

Have you tried a system for chores or allowance? Is it effective? How old are your kids and when did you start?