The {Incredibly Long, Drawn Out, But Totally Worth It} Building of a Bench

If I told you three months ago that I'd be sitting here now, on this very bench, writing this, I probably would have said "well, what the heck took ya so long?"

Life, man.

Also wood.
And caulking.
And layers of paint and poly.
And mostly being total amateurs.

But no matter, our truly beautiful window seat is finally finished--and I'm finally writing about it!

----- BEFORE -----

I had to seriously dig for a "before" picture of the breakfast nook. I guess I was subconsciously avoiding documentation of the space because I couldn't handle staring at it--well, more like the worn, sorry, destroyed table--any more than I already had to on a daily basis. The table is also in the works now...also a very long and drawn out process.

Sneak peek!
...don't hold your breath...

But that's another post for another month. Or ten. I digress.

BUILDING

We taped out our bench plan on the floor with a whole lot of eyeballing and very little expertise...

 

Peter built the frame by measuring and cutting and hammering and stuff...

And voila! It looked amazing! Just kidding. It was days upon days of trial and error. I can't pretend to give even a halfway decent recap of his process and I'm not going to try because there are already lots of tutorials out there for this part, but let's just say there was a lot of measuring, cutting, and hammering followed by some tearing apart, re-measuring, re-cutting and hammering, interspersed with buckets of frustration and threatening to just tear it all down because we didn't have the right tools and clearly it just wasn't going to work. Thank goodness he persevered--my hero!

A few things about the building process I can speak relatively intelligently about:

• We had a vent on the floor, so to solve that issue we put an air return on the side of the bench, and in the framing process Peter placed an angled wood panel to direct the air accordingly.
• We studied lots and lots and lots of window seat pictures and pins, and ultimately decided to go with a board and batten style instead of beadboard because it seemed like it would be easier to finish the way we wanted. The style will also carry through best with our board and batten style cabinets that I plan to paint gray (someday) and all the designs we have for our eventual island makeover. 
• We opted against a hinged opening for the bench because that would be way too difficult without the right type of table saw and we didn't need another place to store more junk--we need to get rid of junk. 
• We don't have a nail gun either so each nail was expertly placed by hand. Talk about tedious. But as I'd assumed (and much to his surprise) it all looked great once the last nail was in. 
• Our low windows were a challenge when figuring out molding; there wasn't much space between the top of the bench and the bottom of the window sills, but we still needed something to add the finishing touch and hide the edges and the space between the bench and certain parts of the uneven wall. (Seriously--why are walls so uneven!). Ultimately we found molding that was simple and small enough to fit and cover all the spaces. Peter can tell you all about how fun that was to install. 

The last nail!!!

Then it was my turn to become an 'expert' in filling, caulking, painting, and poly (including learning that there is more than one kind of poly; polyurethane and polycrylic). 

The one thing I could not for the life of me find was a good tutorial on caulking built-in furniture. And there was certainly nothing in my Google search returns about using wood fill for spaces too wide for caulk. So I'll go into a few deets on these...

WOOD FILL

I read in one blog that caulk, like grace, has the magical ability to "cover a multitude of sins." Thankfully, my architect brother-in-law confirmed that it's best if those sins are less than 1/8 inch in width. Otherwise, use wood fill first! 

Even though I knew what I needed, Peter wasn't quite sure what I meant when I sent him to the store for wood fill/composite (hey, at least I remembered something from middle school wood shop even if I can't do the building part like he does!). So the hardware store people sent him home with some patch-n-paint, which was messy and gummy and time consuming, but worked a-ok. If you have a similar project, just make sure it says wood fill/composite, wood putty, etc. Or just do what we do and ask a smart Homeboy Depot guy or gal. 

Lessons learned:

• Have lots of wet paper towels on hand to clean up messes and mistakes quickly.
• It shrinks as it dries, so it's better to overfill and shave off excess if needed with an exacto knife than underfill and have to add more and wait again for it to dry. 
• Be patient.
• But really, it takes awhile. Find a good playlist.
• Be more patient. (It will be worth it!)

Purty, huh?

CAULKING

I read and watched a LOT of tutorials on caulking, but they were specific to tile and baseboards and windowsills, not unfinished wood benches that needed to transition seamlessly to their adjacent walls, so I was a little uncertain of how things would go. Thankfully, turns out this project didn't differ too much from those I studied up on. Most of the same principles applied. When it was time to buy the stuff at the hardware store, I had a caulking gun in hand (like all the tutorials had called for) but the guy pointed me to a squeeze tube of the very caulk I needed and said "this is much easier, just cut the tip and go," thus saving me some money and--to my best knowledge--some time and stress. Though I did get a little carpal tunnel out of the deal. The process itself was simple, albeit time consuming. The best tips I learned from tutorials and along the way:

• A pointer finger with a trimmed nail works way better than that little DAP tool thingie I thought I had to have.
• Water is your friend. Have plenty on hand, and more wet paper towels for mistakes and to wipe off excess caulk.
• Get caulk that is PAINTABLE if you are planning to caulk before painting, not after.
• Caulk shrinks just like wood fill. You might have to do a seam or two (or all of them, ahem) twice. Two tubes of caulk covered the project for me.
• Start with a small cut on the tip of the tube of caulk to control the size of the bead. You can always go bigger but you can't go smaller...

My process was simple. I had a little bowl with dipping water (that one of the kids mistook for a holy water font, ha); I squeezed out a bead of caulk along a seam at a time--or half a seam at a time if it was a really long edge, like the back of the bench--then dipped my finger generously in the water before running it along the line of caulk to smooth it into the corner. Whenever caulk started to build up on my finger, I quickly cleaned it off with a wet paper towel, dipped in the water again, and continued where I left off for a smooth line.


Lessons learned:

• I'm so glad I used the wood fill first based on how much the caulk shrunk after drying. I could've used more in some places; after a few weeks of use the bench does have one split in the paint along a seam where I didn't fill/caulk enough, which I'll have to re-do. 
• Caulking over the nails before painting was key. I caulked both over nails that stuck out to smooth the edges and ones that were driven in to fill the nail hole/little divet that was left.

PAINTING AND SEALING

After caulking, it was time to paint. From the moment we considered this bench I knew I would have to do this part right. Being in an eating area and at the mercy of three kids, I knew it would have to withstand a load of abuse, and be as well-sealed and wipeable as possible. 

In the end, I primed one coat, painted two coats, and used four coats of poly. 

Primed & ready for paint

Lessons learned:

• Poly does not roll on well; use a brush (learned after the first coat). Though poly dries clear, you can still see the brush strokes (learned after the second coat), so brush in the natural direction of the grain, not the easiest direction.  
• After researching, I chose polycrylic over the paint versus polyurethane, because I read that while polyurethane is great over wood stain, it has an oil base which can yellow over time. Not really a problem with wood, but over paint, especially white paint, it can be very visible. Polycrylic, on the other hand, is water-based and doesn't yellow, and is therefore a better choice when sealing paint. *THE MORE YOU KNOW*.

And that, my friends, is the very long and drawn out (but totally worth it) explanation of how we got to this, the after--or maybe you just scrolled right to it like I would:

----- AFTER -----

  

It's already our favorite place, and I have no doubt that it will continue to be for many, many years to come. 

Ninjas taking a break between chores for some...
meditation...? Or something. And giving
me a break post painting and pre-polying!

The great thing about finishing something meant to
sit on...you can finally sit. Slash collapse. Forever.

A Day in the Life, Unfiltered

It's been a sad start to summer. We kicked it off last week with Ethan spiking a 105' fever for five days straight. The doc said he was fine but it definitely gave this mama a scare. After a nice weekend of family time and observing Memorial Day, I thought we were in the clear; then both big kids woke up Tuesday morning with The Fever. For the second week in a row, we've cleared our calendar and canceled all our plans and appointments.

It's forced us to welcome summer by slowing wayyyyyy down, which in some ways is frustrating... but has afforded me a little more time to appreciate the simple things, too. Yesterday began with a huge crash followed by a bang, which after tearing down the stairs in a panic I discovered was just a plate that our now-healthy Ethan man had dropped and broken while grudgingly unloading the dishwasher. Still not my favorite way to start another sick day. So, between my regular work and chores [that sick kids aren't doing], I staved off some boredom by deciding to capture the finer points of the day in a series of unfiltered, unedited pictures. Not in an attempt to curate perfection, I might add, since we know that doesn't exist, but in an attempt to elevate my mind and soul toward the simple beauty around me, and find a little joy in the ordinary moments after essentially two weeks of being a shut-in. 

Someone's slippers are too small. No matter, he considers them
appropriate footwear for all occasions.

This is one of many, which will be removed soon. Very soon.
But seeing nature's perfect honeycomb makes the heart {briefly} happy.

Lego Mania during a medicine high.

The peaches doing their thing. I'm so stinkin' excited about these babies.

Cross section of a damaged peach bud. Science is the coolest. 

Dried Peonies (which ended up that way quite
unintentionally) and kid finger trails in the dust.

And fresh peonies blooming in th garden, being paid a visit by the Honeycomb Artist.

It literally snowed cottonwood all day long.
Much happier in this season than real snow!

Flowering branches from some shrub I spent the morning pruning
(accompanied by a fresh handprint on the mirror. I don't even want
to know what the kids were doing up that high!).

Bitty blossoms and grapes for my little sickie (who made me proud when I asked her if I could get anything and she said,
"hey, got any grapes?")

Medicine lows.

Little Miss attempting to talk to her next-door bestie via walkie talkie...
because being SO close yet so far apart all week is just torturous.

A loaf of bread from same said amazing neighbor
who had pity on me during their grocery store run.

The well child, lucky enough to play in person with the neighbors.

And some homemade iced tea and flowers to keep me company while
I sat on the front porch in the lovely weather getting some work done.

Plotting his escape.

Midway through a 30-minute tantrum because he wasn't into the
idea of completing his weekly chore of organizing the garage toys.

Followed by the final high-five after he realized, some
time later, that he wasn't going to get out of it by being
cute/cranky/the youngest anymore so he'd better
just make it happen and be happy again already. 

High five to all of us for making it through the entire day, and praise be the Sacred Heart of Jesus that it's Friday. Praying these fevers break soon and we will be on our way to finding more little joys, hopefully in a slightly larger radius.

The Chores and Allowance Post

Let's consider two fairly universal truths:

People like money.

People don't like chores.

It's proved true for us and definitely true for our kids. They're all about the money, money, but doing chores is just torture. I grew up with chores but no formal allowance, while Peter grew up with both-- yet with constant changes in our own work/life balance for so many years, we've long struggled with how to manage these things in our own home and family. So we decided to come up with a plan to address both, especially now that we're entering the big-ish kid stage.

Granted, we've always believed in and instilled the importance of teamwork--if you live in the house, you're expected to help take care of it--and our kids became self-sufficient in many ways early on. They learned how to get their own breakfast, they pack their own lunches for school with minimal assistance, and they've all been able to unload the dishwasher for quite some time.

But my lack of organization has made any formal approach difficult to manage. We've had good intentions and even tried a loosely-organized system or two, but they weren't very well thought out and I only made half-hearted attempts to implement them. So naturally, they never stuck. Thankfully, the good idea allowance and chore fairy recently sprinkled some pixie dust on our home, and I'm here to share our joy!

But first, a look at our former reality...

Chores Then:

-Kids had no motivation to complete chores and only did so with much wailing and griding of teeth when I made them. 

-Usually there was no rhyme or reason to when I made them. 

-Sometimes it was just a consequence for their latest unsavory deed.

-Or I needed the dishes done so I could get to the crockpot buried under them so we could actually eat.

Allowance Then:

-Laziness usually won out because a) remembering to get cash is inconvenient and b) teaching budgeting takes time and work. And I stink at teaching.

-So we settled for just buying them what they needed when they needed it.

-Which often turned into us getting stuff that was wanted but not, in fact, needed.

In sum, not the greatest approach. We did have a sorta-kinda system of rewards in place for when the kids achieved big goals they had been working toward, but for the most part we were winging that too.

Recently though, Marie started asking again about allowance and if there was anything she could do to earn certain items that she, like, just had to have. So in a stroke of genius, we [Peter] thought up a way to marry these two truths and came up with a system for chores and allowance that's actually really promising. I'm seriously excited about it, and the kids are being surprisingly responsive, too. (It's pretty darn simple and probably already out there on Pinterest in some form or another, but Peter doesn't Pinterest and I don't feel like looking, so this is the version straight from his brain).

It goes like this: 

• 3 kids
• 1 daily chore each
• 1 weekly chore each
• $2 of basic allowance per week
• Potential to earn up to $5 total per week by doing additional chores

Super simple, right? We picked out the daily and weekly chores for each kid based on what our biggest needs were around the house (aka the chores that pile up and we can never get ahead on).

Chores Now:

Peter helped the kids come up with a game plan for when to do their daily chores. During the summer, they will complete their chore during the time they would otherwise be getting ready for school. For example, Marie will put in a load of laundry first thing in the morning, then switch the load to the dryer after breakfast and be ready to fold clothes over lunch or in the afternoon. Peter also did a "chore teaching" session with each kid for the weekly chores; he showed Ethan where everything goes in the garage, trained Erik to flawlessly scoop poop, and cleaned the bathroom with Marie so she knows what right looks like when scrubbing the toilet. [Score].

I, on the other hand, helped come up with all the extra chores they can do to earn money [gleeful cackle], and it's my job to be Chore Enforcer Extraordinaire and keep track of any extra chores the kids do. It's been easy so far because the extra money is a definite motivation...we'll see how I'm doing in a month after the whining sets in. 

Allowance Now:

Peter is taking care of retrieving the weekly allowance in the form of small bills. He also walked the kids through how they should allot money for savings (kept in their piggy banks) and spending (kept in their wallets). Each week they are to put .50 cents in savings, and to bring .50 cents, or the "first fruits" of their allowance, to church for the collection basket. This amounts to a 10% savings and 10% tithe if they earn the full $5 of allowance each week. Otherwise, it adds up to 50% of their basic allowance (more motiveation!). I, meanwhile, am in charge of holding wallets hostage for extra chores when they are left lying around the house and garage (not that any children have already done that or anything). But really, my job is to be the voice of reason, helping them understand that saving toward something has its merits, no matter how hot their pocket might seem with two fat dolla dolla bills burning a hole in it. I'm also the default teacher/voice of reason when conversations like this happen:

Marie: "Can we go out to eat more this summer?"
Me: "Eating out costs money. So it depends on how much money we want to put toward eating out versus other stuff we want."
Marie: "I know! If you give us more allowance, then we can pay for our own food at the restaurant so you don't have to!"
Me: "That's not how it works..."

Family Meetings Too:

On the adulting level, we're working on doing a better job of managing from the top down. We've put a weekly family meeting on the calendar that includes a financial review to determine priorities, and a running list of topics up for discussion or planning. This has already been very valuable and was the catalyst to help us really round out the initial ideas Peter had for implementing our chores and allowance system.

We went live with the full system this week and it's going really well so far; out of the three kids, one does her daily job first thing without prompting, another does his immediately after prompting, and the third does his with lots of promoting and constant motivation. Which is perfectly bearable for me so far (again, check back in a month).

Vying for the vacuum. #icouldgetusedtothis

Besides sharing the wealth with the kids (ha...hahaaa..) I think this new system is good for us as parents, too, (mostly me!). It forces us to keep a schedule and foster accountability, which I inherently struggle with, and allows us to be involved in constant conversations about teamwork and money management. 

All in all, a very positive change thus far, and a routine I'm excited to work hard on maintaining! 

Have you tried a system for chores or allowance? Is it effective? How old are your kids and when did you start?

A First Communion Photo Dump

All the emotions and all the photos--I'll let them speak for themselves. So proud of our sweet girl!

Saving a rolly poly on the way out of mass.

So happy to hang with Grandma.

Godfather/Uncle "Q" was there too!

March Madness {Of the Non-Baller Variety}

Yeah yeah, I know March was so three weeks ago--this post has actually been sitting around in draft form since then (cringe). But it's been crazy around here so humor me, mmk? Here's what went down...

Little miss made her first reconciliation and blew us away with her bravery. We celebrated with a cake of her choice, which we learned was quite apprapo being that it was also znational Oreo day.

On St. Patrick's day we remembered my grandfather, Jack Dempsey McQuaig, better known as "Champ." He died on St. Patrick's Day when my dad was in college so I never had the privilege of meeting him, but I've gotten to know him better as I've gotten older through stories and pictures and even my own research. Recently, my uncle sent my dad a treasure trove of photos from their childhood and also of my grandfather's service as a navy F6F Hellcats pilot during WWII--it was neat to go through a bunch of them on St. Patrick's day.

Champ...

Later, when frantically trying to figure out what to throw together for our Irish dinner feast (procrastinator that I am), I stumbled upon an Irish potato dish I'd never head over before called champ. It was too awesome of a coincidence not to make in honor of my grandfather. Also fitting was the fact that St. Patrick actually hailed from Scotland, not Ireland, just like my grandfather and the rest of us 'Scotch' McQuaigs.

...and champ.

Spring came early (starting in February)... 

...and then disappeared for the rest of March.

Snuggling his snow.

So we (well, everyone else) embraced it and we went skiing one last time.

This was their first lift ride sitting on their own.
I couldn't even handle the cuteness.

And then everyone (well, 3/5 of us) promptly spiked some fevers that lasted a total of 8 long days, including over Easter. Poor Ethan man was hit hardest.

Easter Sunday lows...

...and medicine highs.

Late in the day Ethan took a field trip to urgent care because his fever kept spiking kinda scary high. But we made it through. And we still dyed (and broke) plenty of eggs, and the Easter bunny still came...

(Peter likes pineapple).

3/5 of us made it to Easter mass...

Hearding...hearding...

And we even remembered to measure Erik on his half birthday.

We do mix n' match (or not match) PJs around these parts.

And finally, to close out the month with a little additional madness...

My faithful, [fully paid off]10-year-old car didn't like the trip back from the mountains too much; the engine light came on as soon as we gunned it to get up the big hill of the first pass, so to the shop it went the next week. 

Providentially, it went to the shop the same day Peter got an offer for the new job/promotion he'd been interviewing for at his current employer. 

Apparently, after learning about the offer, Peter also received a call from the car dealer that my Chariot (as I like to call it) had finally pooped out on something major and it was going to cost more to repair than it was worth. 

I knew none of this until Peter casually rolled up in this puppy and guided me to the front window to take a look at the driveway.

Whereupon I about fell over and muttered something quite unholy before squealing "is it returnable...?"

This is my "holy jeepers, you brought home a new car??!!?!?!?!" look.

(Needless to say, Peter found out that it is best to surprise me with much, much smaller things...say, like a nice bouquet of sunflowers).

BUT I really do love it, and we are lucky to have it. It's exactly what I would've picked out if I had been part of the process--another Expedition. They've been good to us and nicely accommodate our brutish dog/kid/ski-and-camping gear desire for space. And considering the amount of time every day that I spend playing taxi driver for all our various activities, I'm extremely thankful to have a new, reliable family chariot. [Cue song]. Now just to finish reading the manual and figure out all this snazzy new technology...

The job itself will be a nice step up for Peter, even if it means we'll be seeing a bit less of him because it's a bigger region and it's on the other side of town. But he's excited and we're excited for him. 

And that about wraps it up for March Madness...which looks a little less mad now that we've been knee deep in April's foolishness. Wish us luck!